Tuesday's Truths: A List

1. Evidently, when children turn three-ish....they are gifted with an uncanny ability to alter their breathing patterns to reflect the following: breathe in, breath out, "Mama", breath in, breath out "Mommy", breath in, breath out, "Mom" and rinse lather and repeat every 2.2 seconds.

2. Nothing is cuter than a 1 year old, butt naked in the tub, dancing to silly songs (especially when said 1 year old will not sit in the tub but insists on standing and will only reach down to pick up some bubbles, scrub her tummy, and keep standing)

3. Trying to figure out if a child is faking hurt/sick or is really hurt/sick when the initial doctors visit showed no abnormalities is absolutely zero fun. Especially when you are 7 days in and still not sure.

4. If you pick out a cute outfit for picture day, it will tickle, or not fit right and you will have about 2.5 seconds to come up with a backup plan or either be late on picture day.

5. A boy child will persistently find the items not approved for play and focus entirely on them for the duration of their free reign.


and that's my quick bites for tonight.

Family Tradition

(this should be a button to Proud Mama Moments... )

Yesterday I instilled in Hayley a family tradition that I often give my mother grief about... you see, when we were growing up, and the smoke alarm went off, we did not exit the house, we did not declare a safe meeting space like the mailbox, we did not count heads and exit the house... we got a dishtowel, or a pillow, or maybe even a broom, and we fanned the detector until it went off.. Real safe practice there I assure you! I mean really, aren't smoke detectors supposed to denote "emergency! smoke! leave the area!" oh not, not in our house, it meant... "hurry, run and fan so it stops beeping!"

Yesterday, I did the same thing in our new home...only to realize, I've become my mother. My 2.8 year old now knows to run wave a dishcloth at the smoke detector when Mama's cured porkchops smoke up the kitchen.

Sometimes family tradition truimphs safety...what do you think???

More Truths About Motherhood

Truth: Just because you say "sit still" "do this" "don't do this", doesn't mean that your child will do it. ever. or consistently. or even most times. However, this will not stop you from saying it over and over and over and expecting the same results.

Truth: Nothing is as precious as two children who go to sleep and wake up at the same time (preferably with at least a 3 hour span for naps and an all-night span for bedtime)

Lie: Bathtime is reserved for bedtime routines. Bathtime is meant for whenever it works. Including 11 a.m. on a Saturday. Or 5:45 p.m. on a Wednesday. If they are willing to get in the tub and you've got 10 minutes to spare, do. it.

Truth: Children will arbitrarily decide that after months of eating a food with intense love, that suddenly they don't like it any more. And will tell you so. And then proceed to eat some of it. Or not eat some of it and have a complete meltdown.

Truth: If your oldest child is past the age of babyfood eating, but your youngest child is not. You will find both children having baby food for supper at least a night a week. Also, just because your older child can have goldfish and other snacky items, does not mean that they wouldn't prefer to eat an entire container of Puffs at a 10:1 ratio to you feeding your younger child.

Truth: Once your child discovers real food... and makes the mmmmm and smacking sounds, you can hang baby food up. Hang. It. Up.

Truth: If you teach your child to call her Daddy's face "scruffy" and then teach her to also tell him "go shave!", then do not be caught off guard when she touches your legs and tells you the same!

And there we have round 2 of the Truth about Motherhood. Click on the label on the right side of the page to see the first edition.

The Truth About Motherhood

Ok, this is my own special that I'm starting, because its my blog and I can... : ) I hope that if you are a blogger and read it and have your own truths to add you'll do it and let me know... then I might become one of those people who knows how to run a linky-link effectively and we can be all linked up.

Anywho.

The first truth about motherhood: You should abandon all assumptions. For example, your children fall asleep in car. You assume you can move them seamlessly into bed without them catching a wake-up second wind. DO. NOT. ASSUME. THIS.

Other assumptions you should avoid:
1. Family meal time will actually include you eating a full meal without interruption. Even with a fully prepped dinner table and the times that we serve off the table, there is a dropped utensil, a potty run, a refill and destroyed napkin. Alongside this, drop the assumption that you will be able to eat to your fullness/plate clean while your food is still warm/hot or within the same time frame as your children, especially if said meal is behind schedule and runs into bedtime timing.
2. A child who sleeps flawlessly will always go to bed without stalling. Even when said stalling involves potty emergencies and mutiple requests for songs and or an I-got-the-last-I-love-You in competition.
3. That you can go more than 1 hour without milk in the house. The child who asks for milk will always ask on the one day that you are out and haven't gotten to the store. (Only to not ask for anything but water the next day when there is a full gallon in the fridge.)
4. That your second, or subsequent, child will be anything like your first. I never believed this to be so inherent in children that you would tell from birth on, but I tell you this as sure as I type, my children are total opposites. TOTAL.
5. That all of the great photos and videos you take of your memories will timely be organized or printed or bound or displayed.


And that is our initial venture into the Truth about Motherhood!