Saturday, December 28

A Look Back: Hayley in 2013

Hayley's Year
This year Hayley turned 5! She is in Kindergarten - complete with a "Bag of Books" for reading each night and a 5-word spelling test on most Fridays. This year she decided to not take dance, instead taking gymnastics this fall and playing t-ball this spring. This year has been challenging as she transitions out of the "little kid" phase into more independence. Hayley asks a million questions a day, is very curious and observant. Our ability to spell secrets is no longer viable for most small words - especially D-O-G-S! Still anxious by nature, she's high energy, high impact and its all or nothing! In an unexpected twist, shows no fear for amusement park rides or trampolines. She rode the Tilt-A-Whirl and all the "kid" rides at Pier Park this summer. Her first instinct on a trampoline was to do a front flip in the air, no hands. She's mastered her cartwheel, landing on her feet more times than not. She enjoys making up songs or creating her own lyrics which may or may not include any of the original words (much like her daddy). Hayley is still SUPER picky about food and may or may not eat at any given time - but has a HUGE sweet tooth! She told me once, "I'm hungry... can I have some gum??" She loves to play imaginary games of school, dance, swim lessons, etc. - but only when she's the boss! She loves wearing swimsuits, high heels.. or when at home, nothing but underwear! She's learn to sound out most words and is practicing writing sentences and making "books." She's strong as an ox - despite her small size! She managed to knock a flu shot needle out of the nurses hand (and scratch her leg) this fall - requiring 3 adults to hold her while she screamed bloody murder in the doctor's office. (And the flu shot was a must have, she's gotten flu the past 2 years and ended up in the ER once, and the hospital once.. so no more chances without the shot). She also loves to tell stories and is a very animated story teller - sometimes, she has trouble distinguishing between her imagination and reality. She is really wanting her hair to be long like Rapunzel, and its finally reached her shoulders.

      

Let's Take A Moment: 2013 for Bowen

Well, nothing says end of the year like picking up with a  real live blog post. Yup, the old "year in review" gets me every time.

This year, well, its been busy.. but hasn't every year, since... ever?? I feel like its redundant to even say that life is busy because, well - it always is. Every week of crazy is followed by another, so basically, its just, the speed of life these days.

Bowen's Year
This year Bowen turned 3! While we were in Costa Rica on a mission trip, so she had what we deemed the official "birthday month" with a party down in Jaco, a party a week later when we got home, and several rag-tag gifts for weeks as we caught up with people who missed the party. June was truly the month of Bowen! In August, she started K3 at SGA. She is loving school, and comes home singing her alphabet songs "Alexander Alligator, Alexander Alligator, A says AH, AH AH AH!" She is extra-ordinarily quiet at times, and is still not speaking much to her teachers, even though she loves them. Bowen can be the most animated or the most withdrawn of any child I've ever seen. She has "the look" and doesn't do anything just because you want her to. However, she is also very laidback and low key. She prefers to play by herself than with others, and marches to her own beat. And oh, the wee hours of the morning, Boa loves to be up and at 'em before 6, maybe even around 5, you know what, 4:30 is sometimes good too. The morning is definitely her time - she wakes up chipper and often singing. We find her reading to her babies, playing puzzles, having school, or singing while she wanders the house. In the last month, she has decided she likes to walk herself into school on some mornings. She is taking dance and loving it. And she loves being a monster! Her favorite character is definitely Mickey Mouse - and she loves the "Juicebox" song too! She went to the Dentist for the first time in November and wasn't phased by it at all - she hopped up and let them clean her teeth, stood in the machine for bitewings/xrays and was all around great. She is definitely our cuddle child and still loves to crawl up in our laps or be carried if she can get away with it. She's taken on the role of "baby whisperer" with the twins and also loves Grady as if he were her twin (and also fights with him that way when the mood strikes). While its often rare, a true Bowen smile is worth a million of her "looks."

       

Wednesday, December 25

An Unexpected Christmas -"A Hallelujah Christmas"

A beautiful rework of a favorite song, beautiful arrangement, beautiful video.

Happy Birthday Jesus.

Tuesday, December 24

A Man's Take - A Strange Way to Save the World

This isn't my favorite arrangement, but they do the song well. I love this song from Joseph's perspective and how his thoughts echo ours so often!


Monday, December 23

What Child is This - Lindsey Stirling

truth is, I always wanted to play the violin. Doubtful that I would have been ever able to dance and play at the same time, and in the snow, not likely. However,

This is a beautiful instrumental.


Wednesday, December 18

A New Favorite- A Baby Changes Everything

This song is older than I realized, but I didn't hear it until a few years back. Enjoy!


Sunday, December 15

Surprise Song: Little Drummer Boy

Truth be told, I've never been all that crazy about this song... but this performance changed my mind!!

http://vimeo.com/56492585
performed and produced by Athens Church, Athens, GA

Wednesday, December 11

A Classic, Maybe - "Do You Hear What I Hear"

This song has always been in my "ehhh" Christmas music category. But this is just pretty, it moves it up a little closer to my "This song must be heard for it to be Christmas" category!


Sunday, December 1

A Weird Return

So this place has been pretty quiet, my apologies and I do intend to return to actual blogging at some point. Maybe sooner than latter.

In the mean time, stay tuned throughout this month for some of my favorite Christmas songs. Why? Because I turn into a great big ole sap of traditions and music and matching outfits during this month. It just happens!

Fun Song - Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix



They. are. awesome.

End. Of. Post.

Friday, November 22

this. we must remember.

Today Hayley finished her letter to Santa as part of her K homework. Since she's home from school, I typed it to email to her teacher. Bowen was standing next to me when I finished. So I opened a new email and I asked Bowen if she wanted to write a letter to Santa.
 
She said yes, and then after a long pause,  Z.

Then I asked her if that was all, and she said

Z. W. M. Q. R. S. T. U. V. W. X. Y. O. P. R. L. K. J. L. L. B. N. Y. U. I. P. C. Z. J. K. L. M. N. B. P. F. B. B. D. D. C. U. J. K.
 
These are the letters I want to send to Santa.
 
 
 

Friday, November 8

Linked: We are THAT Family

Another one that spoke to me today: Teaching Kids When to Walk Away and When To Stand

Quite obviously, the rest of the blog world is TOTALLY delivering this week.

Thursday, September 26

people.

My God is still in the business of miracles.

Of moments and instances and points in time where His good, and His faithful, and His persistent ways are made known. Celebrate with my friend Erika today!

Erika's story is one of two that I know that have stories which have touched my heart this month in celebration this month. One of two mothers who has faced every. single. difficult. day. of waiting and wanting and trusting and fighting and contending for a baby.

And she is the second one to testify of the greatness of that final moment, when everything changes.

(Song by Meredith Andrews, listen to it here)
You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought you were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all, you are constant
After all, you are only good
After all, you are sovereign
Not for a moment will you forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

 After all, you are constant
After all, you are only good
After all, you are sovereign
Not for a moment will you forsake me
Not for a moment will you forsake me

And every step, every breath you are there
Every tear, every cry, every prayer
In my heart, at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will you forsake me

 Even in the dark
Even when its hard
You will never leave me
After all

And after all, you are constant
After all, you are only good
After all, you are sovereign

Not for a moment will you forsake me
Not for a moment will you forsake me

Not for a moment will you forsake me

Wednesday, September 18

What We're Reading


(image from Amazon)













(image from Amazon)

Fun little rhyming book about friendship, encouragement and being brave.

Also great for instigating "pout pout" faces from small children.

Which is the best of all.

Thursday, September 12

a link list

Have read a bunch of stuff lately that I loved or made me think or both... enjoy!


FYI (if you're a teenage girl) - a post on social media appropriateness

Grace for the Working Mother And her Guilt - a post on mothering

26, unmarried and childless - on embracing the stage of life of those we know

The Mirage - on seasons of spiritual dryness

Are you Free Not to Drink? - a look at alcohol acceptance in Christian circles

Why I don't use the F-word - a look a profanity and gray-area words

3 Phrases Christians should stop quit relying on - a look a phrases that Christians use that may do more damage than good

Why You Should Delete Snapchat - a look at the very real lack of privacy in social media



Wednesday, September 4

sneaky snake.

Y'all.

I could have died today.

I mean, not really, technically, I guess.

But still, it felt like it.

So, if you are my facebook friend, you are already in the know that we are organizing a Consignment Sale this weekend for local families. We partnered with the local 4-H club and a portion of proceeds go to their club and we are utilizing the "Ag Center" which is the official title for the large metal warehouse that they hold hog shows and the farmer meetings in.

(and yes this is relevant, I promise)

So today, we went to the Ag Center to cut on the air conditioner, unload the two truckloads and two trailer loads of items and racks and all the stuff that we had to have to be ready to get started tomorrow for official seller registration.

So, I'd been in the building about 30 minutes - finding light switches and breaker boxes and unloading my vehicle and turning on AC units - when I looked up and saw this guy, just hanging out.

 
um. yeah.
 
 
So, I watched him for about 5 minutes and he wasn't moving, so I called the Extension Office and said "Hey, there is a petrified snake at the top of the rolldoor - maybe it got caught or something - it definitely looks dead, but can someone come get it out of here?" to which the kind lady said "yes, but the guy who would do that is out of town, but he can get it when he gets back" to which I'm good, I mean, its dead after all. Not thrilled about it, but I can deal with it.
 
 
So I keep on keeping on for about 3 more minutes, and then I look up... and IT. IS. MOVING. It has abandoned the frozen position above and it IS. MOVING.
 
i.can't.even.breathe.
 
 
So I call the Extension Office back and the lady says "so what's up with the snake?" and I'm like "OH, you know, ITS TOTALLY NOT DEAD. IT. IS. MOVING." and she squeals and I squeal and we talk about that it is MOST DEFINITELY moving, and who can come kill it, like now?? Because I can't wait on the guy from out of town when there is a LIVE. MOVING. SNAKE. in the building with me. And I'm not LEAVING because then its UNACCOUNTED FOR in the building that we are going to be using for the next three days.
 
 
So, after about 3 minutes that felt like 20, the snake FELL OFF the door and I almost died. So I did the only rational thing and called my husband to come bail me out of this snake predicament. Because even though I convinced myself to go locate a shovel, I knew I wasn't getting close enough to trust my ability to actually kill a snake that is alive and moving.
 
After about 2 minutes, an official looking truck from our wonderful city pulled up and out got animal control with leather gloves and a snake pincher thing and I just tried.to.keep.calm.
 
So he came in and managed to find the snake and after moving 10 tables that the snake was hiding behind, pinched him up with the holding stick thingy.
 
Out of sheer need to know if I had the potential to die from that snake, I found out it was an oak or rat snake - so no, it couldn't have killed me.
 
BUT.
 
STILL.
 


Thursday, August 29

rules of the road. sort of.

I don't know about you - you know, all 8 of you that are reading this- if any of you have an ongoing conversation with yourself as you are driving... and not a conversation of theology, or politics, or deep spiritual revelations. Instead, its a conversation about what's happening around you, and what three primary rules should be considered when driving. They are just this simple:

1. If you are bigger, you win. For example, if my vehicle is bigger than the vehicle that is approaching, I am SO pulling out onto the road. I'm bigger, I win.

2. If your car is older, you win. For example, considering pulling out in front of an oncoming car because you are running late and really, this is the longest red light ever...? If you are older, you are good to go. If the car that is coming is newer, nicer or more expensive that yours, they aren't going to hit you.

3. Never, ever use the "bigger, older" card against a vehicle older or in worse conditions than yours - especially if that vehicle hosts visible dings and dents. Because, if they have dents, they aren't worried about not getting another one - wait. your. turn.

Friday, August 23

returning to the Classic City.

This week, I had the privilege of returning to the MOST beloved and BEST all around college town - no, your arguments are invalid, it truly is, its been published as so - Athens.

ahhh, breathe in the Classic City.

To say that I love this town, and the memories associated with it, the campus, and the food, and the general vibe, would be an understatement.

A big one obviously since I'm writing a whole post about it.

Upon returning as a more-adult-like person, than a starry eyed college student, I have the following observations -which are relevant for all those who still refer to their alma mater city as "home" in their hearts.

1. Buildings are not allowed to change names. I don't care if he was a former governor, I don't care that you put up a big official sign. It will always be the SLC. deal with it. I refuse to acknowledge it as anything else.

2. Restaurants are not allowed to close. But they do, and anger and the shaking of fists are appropriate reactions. I'm sorry new restaurants, I'm sure you are uber tasty and yummy, because, let's face it, Athens is a foodie town, but I have a first impression grudge in you taking the place of my favorite. After this disgruntlement to change subsides, I will be willing to try your fares.

3. College wardrobe choices still baffle me. Ankle boots and gym shorts? One person walks by barely dressed, other in jeans, boots and a parka - what is the actual temperature here and is it considered when dressing? No. the answer is No. And really, ankle boots and gym shorts - I mean, you should know that people are not impressed with this fashion choice. Stop. It.

4. 8 a.m. still means ghost town in a college town. Unfortunately, due to many mornings up bright and early getting small children ready for life, 8 a.m. now seems like a reasonable time to be up, dressed and function. However, it was INCREDIBLE RIDICULOUS to consider as a college student when really, all you had to do was put on shoes and walk around in pajamas if you so chose.

5. Suffering should be passed to next generations. There is now an APP that tells you what's on the menu at the dining halls and when the next bus will be at your stop. NO. You should have to figure that out yourself. And run like crazy just to get to a full bus and still have to wait for the next one. And you figure out yourself when the good food is where and FOR THE LOVE, there has been no permission from alumni for you to "redo and rebuild" dining halls - they must eat in the worst imitation of "The Max" ever.

6. The heart don't lie (name that old school country song) - happy places are forever happy places.

And this is certainly, my happy place.

So, in conclusion, people who tell you that your college town is not as special when you aren't in college.... LIARS.

glory, glory to old Georgia.

and as a glorious side note, had a fun little morning meetup with Erika who also didn't shoot me or murder me or force me to run a tri, which would just be senseless.

Friday, August 9

...

there are these moments in time.

these moments that just seem to freeze.

You can't get past them. You can't really get through them.

You just are in them.

One phone call. One notice.

An ordinary day forever changed.

You can feel your heart beat. You can feel your brain racing.

But all you see are the same words over and over.

All you feel is the beating.

You take extra deep breaths. You search for anything to grasp.

Its a moment.

That changes a lifetime.

How? Why? What? How do you? What do you? How can you? Can you?

the words rattle empty and unfinished, persistently swirling.

so much and so little

echoes and whispers toss about

news not even an hour old reaching across towns, through channels.

a baby gone.

gone.

just gone.

you fear and cringe and fret and pray.

how do you make sense of it? how do you reconcile it?

an Almighty God.

how do you?

a child much awaited.

the pain of his mother. his family. everyone.

a pain that reaches into the deepest, darkest part of all of us.

how?

why?

Jesus in these moments, how do we find you? How do we see you? How do we know you in the deep?

Please pray earnestly for a family who lost their infant today. There are no details to share, and more questions than answers. And more feelings than anything else.

Jesus.

Monday, August 5

check.

poor, poor blog.

One day. One day I will return to you.

Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Here's a few -isms for you in the mean time.

Michael - How about I save "little blue" (our oldest most in disrepair vehicle) for you to drive when you turn 16 Hayley?
Bowen - My sister is not driving that.

Hayley - The only sandwhich I eat comes from Dairy Queen and has ice cream in the middle.

Lady at Church - Bowen, did you get ballerina shoes?
Bowen - they make me twirl (and she twirls)

Hayley - Mama, why don't you have any sons?
Me - Do you have any brothers?
Hayley - no.
Me - That's why.

Tuesday, June 25

Thursday, June 20

thoughts from the returning

We have just returned from a short-tem mission trip. We hauled 18 people and 40 bags through airport security and onto vans and into a foreign country. We bought and packed supplies, mastered rolling our clothes and weighing suitcases right to the nose of 50 pounds. We said thank you to people who donated items, dismissed questions of concerns about our health or wellness or safety. We got up early, went to bed late, and we spent a week "on mission."

I've read a lot of blogs and articles from long-term missionaries. I've read letters and blogs about or to short-term missionaries. I have posted links to them before on this blog... I've never been the former, but the later, I've done several times.

And the truth is, there is a lot of mind-changing - but mostly heart-changing - that needs to change in our approach to missions as an individual and our approach to missions as a body of believers.

Its not that the questions asked are pertinent - but they reflect, in many cases, a total disconnect from the most profound truth - God. is. already. there. God is in Jaco, Costa Rica, in Uganda, in every nation, every community, every culture. He is already there. We as short term missionaries don't usher him in with fanfare and glitz - he is already there, working in the missionaries and churches and individuals who spend their lives in these places. Daily creating relationship, giving love, instructing in faith and crying out from the deepest parts of themselves to see God reign in their city.

I don't dismiss your questions and I'll answer them gladly. But when I do, know that I'm not really sure what it is your asking - instead, a simple "Tell me what God is doing there" would be much more fitted than...

Did you have a good trip? - what does this even mean? does it mean did you enjoy it? as in was it pleasurable for you? was it filled with accomplishments? did you save people? was your hotel nice? Obviously you didn't die or get sick so bad that you are hospitalized, so...

I always feel like the answer is programed to be "yes" because really, what Christian would be like "NO! It was terrible! I hate missions! I hate foreign countries! We did nothing for Jesus."

What is it like there? Not always so heavy-handed, but often this question really means "So, parade around what you saw, not important about people but just how different everything looks and tastes and operates"

This question, while not altogether bad, misses the essential element of missions - the people. When you travel on a short-term mission trip, you do see a world that is different that the one you live in - but what you see is not nearly as important as who you meet, their stories and the circumstances which you experience together in that place. We can show you pictures of what we saw, but that is not the point - the point is not to make a spectacle of the lives of others to showcase their difference or their "worse off" or whatever it may be. These are people - just like us - who live in a different place. Its not a zoo, this is not for your entertainment. We will share them to give you context, but remember, these are homes, the community and the faces of real people in a real place. Don't compartmentalize them.

Well, I am glad you made it back safe. Y'all, I have a ton of people that say this to me every year. Are we glad we got back safe, sure... but this implies that when we travel on mission that God would have conveniently forgotten to provide for us with safety, wellness or health. And its not a popular answer, but I stand firm in that if something bad would have happened that God would use it for the good. So safe is fine, but if I do go, I go with the knowledge that safe or not, God is in control of this trip.

Now - nobody go getting all upset because I stole your question. I know that its the only question you knew to ask. You aren't sure how to ask about something that is complex as a mission trip. I get it. I've asked these questions too in my life.

But this is what we want you to know about our trip.

God is working there and the laborers of His church need your constant prayers. Spiritual warfare and physical circumstances are very real barriers to their growth.

It was not a vacation - did we have some "free" time, absolutely. But the fun we had is secondary to being a part of God's work for that week. So "Did you have fun?" should not be first in the question lineup. Do you have fun when you work for Jesus, yes, but again - short-term mission trips are about the accomplishments for the Kingdom, not making us feel good about ourselves.

It is God's work. What we do there is part of a bigger vision - our photos, and testimonies are only tiny glimpses of the intricate weaving of our mission team with the local community and the meeting of needs.

Don't underestimate or dismiss the work of believers already in the town where we went. Short-term missionaries are not designed to be saviors - Jesus has already gotten that covered. We do not go to become heroes or to shift the light away from the love of Christ to our own boasting. This is something that we will struggle with - on balancing meeting needs and meeting people with keeping our pride in check. It is not about what we can do. We are not the salvation these people need. We are not the focus. We are the instruments for a Holy God. So don't be surprised when we talk of work that we did there, and it doesn't include a headcount of baptisms, deep spiritual salvation experiences, or a list of "done and done"

The work there is continuous. We are not the only mission team to visit this area. We are part of a bigger picture created and managed by the local church. We do projects based on our talents and availabilities and needs at that time. There are others who came before and others who will come after to complete the work needed. It is not a "end all" trip.

Trips like these change our hearts and minds. We will want to talk to you about it. We will want to showcase the ways God did awesome things while we were there. We will want to tell you about our new friends in this new place. If you aren't really interested, don't ask - because this is now a part of us, and we will be disappointed when you shut us out of the conversation that you started.

Short-term missions at heart - should be about serving the local church. If you pack supplies, you pack what they ask for, you meet their physical needs with whatever you can transport. You use your money to accomplish projects under their direction. Bring what you need to take care of yourself and aid in your projects - but don't come into a place ready to be a hero - ready to pass out shoes, hats, and peanut butter like you are going to save these people through that one act. Instead, act out of love under the direction of the local church. You will get to see glimpse of appreciation and thankfulness in every moment you serve, be on the lookout for those. Give the bags of supplies to the church to distribute, approve gifts and tokens and handouts through the church before you pass out to the community. Remember, the local church is there to meet those people every day in their needs - and thus, mission teams should respect the churches place of authority over its work. Remember that the community will need to rely on the church as its primary resource for Godly instruction instead of running to mission teams for a free handout and a smile. Recognize that its not about you. And its not about you being someone important to these people. It is about you being a messenger of Christ. Of showcasing his love for them through your actions. It has never been about you and your self-worth or your ability to change lives. It is about a Savior - who is in the business of changing lives - and don't think for one minute, he won't change yours while you are "on mission" for Him.

Just a few thoughts from the returning....

For photos from our trips and team members: http://puravidaiglesiaradical.shutterfly.com/
Please note the link section to the right with pertinent links to the ministries in Jaco, Costa Rica.

Monday, May 20

child comparison

You know, there are parts of each of us that we think we either a. have under control or b. don't have at all - that seem to bust out of our personalities, our hearts, our minds or our mouths at unexpected times - or at least, at times when we thought we would be different that what/who we are.

This week, the schools in our area have received their test results for standardized testing in the higher grades, and evaluation-based testing in the lower grades (i.e. pre-k). These tests have been deemed critical performance indicators for students and teachers and schools (which is a whole different discussion for a different day) - and as such, have become the critical standard of comparison for PARENTS of CHILDREN.

Y'all... the comparison game is out there. It is real. And it is bad. And WE as parents, need to get a grip on it.

This week, since results have been passed out, I've seen no less than 5 different parents shouting the accomplishments of their children's testing results via social media. Now, don't get me wrong, excellence on these tests should warrant a parents praise - to the child, to the teacher. It is a cause for ice cream or happy dances or whatever form of reward and recognition for a job well done works for your child.

Yet.

Your post on social media. Doesn't make it about that child - especially when that child is too young to be on social media. The post, at heart, is about bragging rights. And in bragging rights, we are isolating other parents and children. We are making a public spectacle of "my child is better, smarter, or more qualified."

Maybe that isn't what is meant. I don't think parents are posting this intentionally to isolate other parents and children. The problem is - what we call a celebration statement, a "I'm so proud" statement - really, truly, becomes more of a boast. More of a comparison. In the same moment where we focus on our child - we are really saying "my child is great - make sure all you other people know it"

Is that all bad? I don't know. It is special for others to congratulate our children on hard work and accomplishment - but this is a fine line - a fine line between making our children social media spotlights which reflect and bring praise to us and stature to us. Between truly praising our child and then making spectacle for the attention of others.

Yikes, y'all.

This is hard stuff to swallow - and to think about - and to type.

And I'm not saying I have the answers... or that my heart is perfect... and that is even scarier.

I read a post today about a child's score - and in my head, to myself, in the proudest part of my sinful heart "that's good, but Hayley's was better."

Y'all. That is ugly. And God don't like ugly.

It is ugly when our social media is a reflection of our heart. Our pride. Our need to show ourselves and prove ourselves (and now our children and our families) to others. To control our appearance in the same way we choose our clothes, our houses, our cars, and our friends.

And the ugliest part - is that it is breeding the use of our children, our kids, who have no clue that they were even tested in the first place (obviously, older children do recognize that they are being tested, but follow me along the thoughts of a parent of a 4-year-old), it is breeding a place where it is not only socially accepted, but socially praised to pit our children against each other.

If we are to boast, it is to be in Christ.

And if we are to celebrate our children, it should be with them, for them and about them. NOT about us. NOT about showing our kids off because it makes us look good. NOT about us being sure that other parents know that their kid is different, or better, or worse, or whatever from our child.

I saw the fullness of this cycle of ugly this week - parents whispering to see if other children made "the cut" and parents whose children were not selected being confronted with it via social media outbursts from other parents - and thus already being in a hard place before they come to meet with the realities of whether their child placed or didn't. And in that moment, the ugly continues - "well, I know my child is as smart as so-and-so or better behaved than so-and-so or how did that kid make it and mine not?" And I can NOT and do NOT think that I know the hearts and thoughts of those on either side completely - but I know my heart, and I know mine would be in that place too.

The focus on social media comparison is a dangerous place for all of us as parents. In all ways we want to protect our children - and social media should be among them. We must be ever cautious that the world of social media can easily turn our children into "pawns" for our own perceptions and social presence. This is bad, y'all.

And its the kind of ugly that eats up our hearts. It allows pride, vanity and conceit. It brings in fear, doubt and unworthiness.

Regardless of where the child tested, the parents heart is tested as well.

And y'all, I sure hope we can get to a better place than ugly.

Wednesday, April 10

lest you be deceived

Lest you read my last post and thought we are a family full of the holy of holy all the time. I present today's episode with Hayley.

in post-school meltdown "I'm hot! I'm sweaty! I'm hungry!" in full tears and whine

Hayley: This sun is tooooo bright!!
Me: You'll have to close your eyes, I can't control the sun.
Hayley: (in full whine/cry): I WANT JESUS TO MOVE THE SUN!

well.

there's that.

a thin place.

This past Saturday, as we returned home,  a man approached Michael in the yard.

A traveler, his bicycle propped against the far side of the church, wanting permission to unroll his mat and sleep next to the building. We offered him some food, water, a rag, a fresh shirt, and we unlocked the church to give him a place out of the cold and the mosquitos.

Each time a traveler comes through - it looks a little different - many are looking for help up the road, not a place to stay or rest. Its a hard stretch of road - our small community situated midway between two towns, the last of the flat road before the hills give way.

His name was John. Face weathered. Gray hair. Tanned from the days spent traveling.

He stayed for service, sitting on the back pew.

Bowen and I sat at the other end of the pew at the soundboard. I caught her staring at him halfway through the service. She saw me look at her, and she whispered to me, "I'm just looking at Jesus, Mama. Looking at Mr. John."

oh, the tears fill my eyes even now.

a divine confirmation - for him, we did what we should.

and my daughter, she got to see Jesus. In that moment, I have no doubt that she saw the face of Christ in a stranger. Jesus, sitting with us, right here in the middle of nowhere.

Jesus in the face of service when fears or concern or doubt or uncertainty could freeze us or prevent us from offering basic courtesies or simple aid.

Matthew 25:41-45

Friday, March 29

Easter.

 
This is one of my favorite bloggers (and writers - she has a great mom devotion book!)
and she posted this today.
I love it.
 
You should read her stuff.
I mean it.
 
She posts often about raising godly children - in a less than self-righteous way.
Of creating love and mercy in our families. Of showing grace. Of showing right.
And truth. And teaching kids that their Jesus is a real part of their life.
She speaks honestly and frankly and with Godly wisdom.
Seriously..read her stuff.
 
I can't even begin to pick my favorite posts - she's recently posted two that are high on my mental "think over" list - one on what we should say to our daughters, and one on entitlement.
 
She also runs a ministry in Kenya for pregnant girls - called Mercy House.


Monday, March 25

beautiful.

Yesterday I sat "criss cross apple sauce" my face 8 inches from a bathrooom cabinent - and two little girls fixed my hair for church.

They brushed and combed, combed and brushed.

And they talked.

Mama, don't turn your head now.

Mama, you have to be still

Mama, this is a big tangle. It might hurt a little.

Mama, now do you want me to spray it?

my words. coming back to me.

and they combed and they brushed.

And they talked.

Mama, you look BEAUtiful.

Mama, your hair looks GREAT.

Mama, you look SOOOOOOO PRETTY!

my words. coming back to me.

Because I think its important to instill these words of affirmation to them. Even now. Every day - oh you look so cute! you are beautiful! pretty, pretty pretty!

And my favorite - go show your daddy how cute you are!

Now, I've read the discussions on whether you should even recognize "looks" or "clothes" or "pretty" to little girls - that you should say "You are..." not "you look..." and all the discussions on how to help create a positive self image in girls without placing undue "world view beauty standards" into their impressionable young minds.

I get it.

Our words matter. But I think we can not be stingy with encouraging our girls to feel and be beautiful. And to hear it from those who love them sincerely.

They will fight the world's view of them their whole lives - but right now, they don't know there is a view that is looking at them other than mine. And in that, I will speak what I hope develops confidence in them. A never-faltering self-awareness that they are created wonderfully, and beautifully - and that yes, there is such thing as "wild and wooly-booly hair" but its nothing that matters more than who they are.

My girls get the same " You look BEAUTIFUL" whether they have on their best dresses or a conglamoration of dress-up tutus and princess accessories that are over-the-top.

And as long as they will let me, I will shower them with words of affirmation - and when the world teaches them the words to come back with "But Mama, I don't.. or I'm not.. or I am.. or this is" then, then we will deal with the competition of the lies of the world and the truth of their Creator.

My girls, you are beautiful.

Monday, March 18

And then... there were two!

To say its been a crazy month would quite certainly be one of the largest understatements of my entire life. It has been insane.. and looks to be that way for the remainder of the next 2 weeks and honestly, probably through all of April - and maybe then we'll hit a summer groove and level out, but the jury is still out on that.

But let's break the silence here that's been over a month in the making, ready? Here we go!


For weeks and weeks, maybe even a few months, every telephone ring and every text message was met with a jump start - is it time? are they coming?

Twins. Double the babies. Two. Forever. Twins. As in more than one.

Babies. With an S.

Coming.

And then, it rang again. Middle of the night. It has to be - it's time.

Rushing and running and hearts racing. No telling what their mama was thinking as all of us worked through our own crazy to get there. Scrambling, a 3 a.m. shower. Don't forget the camera, the list. Stop and wait. We forgot the purse - the insurance card. Ride again. Time to fly - hope no one's on these dark roads. Don't need a ticket at 3 a.m.

Fly into town. Swing in and rush up.

To wait. All is well. Now we wait.

Twins. They are coming.

We sit and we wait, and we laugh and we wait, and we nap and we wait. Slow progress. Their Mama hanging tough, sleeping it off, giving dirty looks to silly comments. She doesn't care if no one else eats, since she can't.

Make a trip, out to pick up lunch - phone rings - come back, fully dilated.

Twins. They are coming.

One last visit. Their mama is getting ready. Tough and calm. No faltering. Let's get these babies here.

We wait and wait. One text. 1:23 p - Parker is here - and he's screaming. He took less than 10 minutes to get here. "Slid right out" is what his Mama says.

6 lbs 2 oz. Baby A, Thing 1, he's here.

We wait again. And again.

Finally. 1:53p - Powell is here.

Whew. Two babies. Here. The way their mama wanted them to get here.

We wait for pictures and we breathe deeper. And Daddy paces to get back to his Baby Girl knowing that her baby boys are now here.

And we smile and squeal as the first pictures make their way into the waiting room. And we bid our time to get back to see this new family.

Twins. They are here.

And their mama, superwoman she is. Delivered those babies just the way she wanted. Up and walking and strong. We don't know it then but she fought to get Powell out, breech and stubborn - much too much like those for whom he's named.

6 lbs. 12 oz.

13 pounds of babies.

Twins. They are here.

And the doors open and you rush back. Tiny faces and hats with names. A tired mama. Shaking as the hormones and medicines calm their way out of her system.

Twins. They are here.

And there in the lack of stillness - you see it. Two. There are two. Perfectly healthy, perfectly scrumptious boys. One purrs and purrs for the first hour. A few peeks at tiny eyes. Wrap and rewrap. Pass baby to arms, arms to baby, baby to arms.

Boys,
You were worth every minute of the wait. And we are so glad you're here. And it'll be a while before you know it, but your Mama - she's a superhero. Just ask me when you are ready to hear it for yourself!



Friday, February 8

Reading for Thought

So - while I often try to stay away from highly controversial, political or social areas of discussion on this flailing attempt at a blog - I'm going to step, quite possibly, into the proverbial deep end with today's link.

Let me preface it with this,
It is my belief that God wishes to restore and redeem all of us. From the deepest darkest secrets to the most public parts of our lives. Unfortunately, we as believers, are often at the forefront of judgement decrees on personal choices and behaviors of others. I am in no way endorsing a "live your life however you want and them come crawling to Jesus for forgiveness when you think you are "ready" to take God seriously." However, I believe that God longs for your heart more than anything else - and He stands ready to accept and redeem your life from whatever it is that's got you separated from Him.

The links below talks about the church's public stand on virginity and sex outside of marriage.. and how our messages on what God has designed for marriage and virginity and sex are - can be presented in harmful and discouraging ways to believers and non-believers. The many contributors to this online discussion give valuable words and insight into how, while discussions about sexuality and issues related to, must be included in our teachings from God's word, how the presentation and approach to those topics, and the overarching message for the listeners, are valid points of considerations. It is certainly our responsibility to teach the truth of these matters within our churches, but it is also our responsibility to teach it well - and with the emphasis on the right points.

So I encourage you to read the links below - and roll your own thoughts around these insights. Just as I am doing.

http://deeperstory.com/i-am-damaged-goods/

http://deeperstory.com/impromptu-sex-week-a-link-list/

Saturday, January 26

A Pep Talk from Kid President to You



received instructions to watch this today.
definitely made my day.

Wednesday, January 23

How is it almost February?

Well, hello to you 2013, nice of you to run on past almost a month without consulting me on whether I was ready for it to almost be the second month of the year - which, for the record, is so NOT supposed to be happening next week.

This month has been good - but crazy - but when is it not?? We were able to spend 3 weeks together as a family through Christmas break which pretty much meant our routine was SHOT since none of those weeks included school for Hayley, daycare for Bowen or work for Michael. This month has been spent mostly failing at getting that routine back in working order and glaring at the household chores that I had finally, sorta kinda, in my own way, gotten a handle on before the month of December happened.

What a first world problem to have!

The flu visited us this year, so far the Lord has blessed us with it only being a mild case and only affecting Hayley. I am so, so glad that its not a repeat of 2 years ago when both girls had pretty severe cases and Hayley spent 3 days in the hospital from it. So, so glad it wasn't that bad this year.

We have begun finalizing a return trip to Jaco, Costa Rica for this summer - and we are praying for the Lord's guidance and direction on what all will be involved during our trip. He was certainly faithful to provide a team!

I feel like this is such a superficial update - but, its a start! :)

Wednesday, January 9

Bowen-ism

Michael: "I got me a Hayley. You can't have her! She's mine!"
Bowen: "Oh. I not want her."

Today, in the car
Bowen: "Oh no! I lost my 'magination! (10 seconds later) Oh wait, I found it. Here it is."

with her hand on her chin, tapping her fingers
Hmmmm... Let me think...

Christmas morning, 6:45 a.m., in the front yard. The girls have just found their Pink Barbie Jeep.
Walks up to it... looks at it.. gets in, gets out, gets in... pushes the radio button... gets out, goes to dancing in the front yard. Required companion for the exploration: Mickey Mouse

This week, driving in the Pink Jeep in the yard
Puts it in reverse. Puts it in drive. Puts it in reverse. Drives with no hands. Backs up closer and closer to her Daddy's truck. Gets within 2 feet in reverse. Puts in drive. Puts in reverse. Backs up to 1 foot. Backs up and hits truck. Looks at the porch, straight in her Daddy's face: "I hit your car." No emotional response, just straight fact.