New Christmas Favorite

This year, I found and created my newest Christmas tradition -

buying all matching wrapping paper!!!

 

Last year, I wrapped with a hodgepodge of bags and paper that I had on hand. This year, I saw these shiny patterned paper sets at Walmart - and I loved them! So I bought 2 packs that coordinated and EVERYTHING MATCHES under the tree.

 

Y'all, it makes the little part of my OCD heart so very, very, happy!

 

I also used every bit of the paper since they were shorter rolls, so I can choose a whole new set of wrapping paper for next year! AND don't have to store Christmas paper for a whole year!!

 

It makes the tree extra festive with coordinated presents!!

 

All around goodness.

 

 

10.O Come, O Come, Emmanuel - Casting Crowns

This is an instrumental version of my all-time favorite Christmas Hymn.

The Nativity Story - How Many Kings

This song caught my attention earlier this year with the chorus alone - but then as I listened to the verses, I realized it was ultimately a Christmas song. Again, I looked for the artist's original video but didn't find one. You get a double dose of my favorites since this video also contains nothing but images from The Nativity Story movie.

The Whole World

I wrote this a month ago for our newsletter, which we mailed out this week.

Then today, I read the headlines... and I gasped and prayed and sat in dismay at the tragedy that surrounds a single moment, a single day.. when everything changes.....

 

 

He’s got the whole world in His hands,

He’s got the whole world in His hands,

He’s got the whole world in His hands…

 

It’s a child’s song… we teach it to toddlers and nursery babies. We include the mama’s and the daddy’s and the little bitty babies. It’s a cute little song, with a cute little message.

 

And then you grow out of the nursery, and life seems to get a little bit more rugged than the lyrics to a toddler tune, and sometimes, you just aren’t sure where this world is going... or how it got to here.

We all have seasons in our lives that are filled with grief, turmoil, stress, distress, hard decisions, sickness, upheaval, uncertainty.. Sometimes it just gets ugly and we began to feel battered. We may even say “How much longer God?” or “Why me God?” or “Why now?” or even “But, this isn’t the way things are supposed to be...” We can find ourselves confronted with the hardest truth in simplest nursery rhyme form… Does HE really have the WHOLE WORLD in His hands? Right now, in my circumstance, in today, in yesterday, in tomorrow… does He have that in His hands??

Big moments, small moments, moments of transition, moments of fear, moments of frustration, moments of anger... does He REALLY have this in His hands?

 

In these moments, when our very adult hearts have to deal with the sincerity of child-like faith, we have to listen to the words of love He whispers to us through Scripture.

 

I knit you together in your mother’s womb, I created every part of you. (Psalm 139:13) I have plans for your life. (Jer. 29:11) I am with you always, until the ends of the age. (Matt. 28:20) In all things, I work for the good of those who love me. (Romans 8:28) Come to me when you are weary and I will give you rest. (Matt. 11:28)

 

This is what child-like faith looks like… its not a faith that is wrapped in nursery songs and simplified stories. It is in the deepest understanding of the truths those songs represent… that in this world, our world, my world, your world… your today, your last month, your next week. He has it. In control. It is in His hands. His hands. Not yours, not mine, not ours together. His Hands hold the whole world.

 

Amen, Father, Amen.

---------------------------------------------------
It is in such times where the only place comfort is found is in the lap of God. May peace surround them all. And may those lost be found in the arms of Jesus - and dancing with the angels. In all things, we know that Jesus loves the little children - and always says "Let them come to me..."

Amen Father.

Even in our dismay.... Amen.

 

Joy To The World - Operation Christmas Child Music Video

Shopping and packing our boxes is the HIGHLIGHT of all our shopping and packing at Christmas! Hayley loves them too!

You're Here - Francesca Battistelli

This song I heard performed live about 2 years ago - I had hoped to find an official video from the artist, but I couldn't it.

This song is often referred to as Mary's song.

Advent Reading

(image from Amazon.com)

 

This book made its way into our home last year - and I am re-reading it this year. Its a beautifully depicted telling of the Biblical events and prophecies that point to Jesus. I highly recommend it.

2012 Christmas Favorites

Every year, even when my blogging has been less than faithful - which we all know counts for this year - I try to do something around Christmas for the whole month.

To say that the Christmas season is my favorite season is to understate the obvious in the most extreme way. I love the anticipation of the Advent season, the Christmas lights and decorations, all the musicals and plays and special events.

So this year, I'm going to share some of my favorite aspects of Christmas - and things that have come to hold special meaning for me each Christmas Season.

(photo from Amazon.com)

 

 

This depiction of the Nativity Story - a following of Mary & Jesus in the days before and during their journey to Bethlehem - is a beautiful rendering of the challenging times they faced. It is very realistic (in my opinion) and portrays the historical events made known by the Bible as well as the character development of Mary & Joseph. What they could have experience, felt, said... how the journey would be.

 

Note - I feel like I should include that this movie is not suitable for young children (in my opinion) as there are several quick depictions of violence (none outside of Biblical storytelling, but it is visually impacting).

 

This is our second year watching this, and as I grow more and more into my mother, there was much of the movie that left me in near tears.

 

I hope you enjoy it too!



half-birthday

Bowen,
THIS is your half-birthday update, because, well... you have got enough of a story to warrant one!

I've been promising to potty train you for the better part of 6 months... and I've sworn to not buy more pull ups at least 3 times. But I did. So over Thanksgiving break, we decided it was time to get serious about this potty business - and you totally rocked it! We are still in pull ups at night, mostly because you like to get up at 5 a.m. and haven't quite decided that going straight to the potty in the dark is among your first choices after waking. Your first day in panties all day, without accident, was Thanksgiving...and we were SO THANKFUL! You then extended that to napping without pullups at Sha Sha's this week! We are super proud of you getting the hang of this!

You, my baby girl, are a force. A force like I've never seen before. When you are happy, you are so happy and when you are mad, well, we call you Chief Hold-a-grudge!! You make us laugh constantly with your antics and faces and expressions!

Some of my favorites include:
I not rotten.. I BOWEN! B-O-W-E-N... Bowen, that's me!!
I hear a grumpy ol' Hayley in there.
Grady Smith!

You often burst into song and sing so sweetly. You love music and can sing almost all the words to just about any song you've heard more than 3 times... You mimic and know many of the sing-songs that Hayley brings home from school too! You really liked the Three Bear Rap she learned at the beginning of school this year! It's to funny to watch you sing and wiggle!

You are seriously smitten with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse... even if you only hear it from across the house you immediately go "I hear Mickey!" and straight to the TV you go!

Right now, you have a pink blanket that was given to you when you were a baby that is the ONLY blanket you find suitable for going to bed with. Despite the fact that it is now too small to cover you in length!

You are still very cuddly and squishy and you love to give kisses and wrap your arms around us!


Now Hayley - its not quite your half-birthday yet, but you, my first born... are just too big for your britches. I catch you calling me "Mom" with the lilt of an eye roll too often. You have learned so much and remember almost everything anyone has ever told you! This year you are in dance and gymnastics and enjoying them both! You would tumble and wrestle all day if we'd let you! You are a lot stronger and full-force than you realize so we spend a LOT of time saying "easy" and "careful". Your heart is so tender and you have helped us pack Christmas boxes and shop and give food and things away... and you ask why and seem to really grasp the importance of giving to others. We are proud of you for that. You are a very good big sister and play with Bowen patiently (most of the time... although, sometimes I think she tests you on purpose). You love to color and do mazes and puzzles. You are VERY into anything with a screen - computer, phone, tablet... whatever!


My girls. I love you.

a glimpse of a day, far far away!

Yesterday, I brought my veil inside where I had loaned it to another bride-to-be. I laid it on the couch, because really, who actually unloads things from their car and actually puts them in their place immediately??

 

And Hayley asked what it was... this child has watched our wedding DVD at least 5 times and been to several weddings, so, she gets it... so I did what any good mommy does... say "Do you want to try it on?" and then ran for my camera.

 

I've seen a growing trend of mama's letting their little girls have a photo session in their wedding dresses and veils as a special treat for their daughters - but what I really think is that's a special treat much more for the mama's. And I'm good with that!

 

So I took the girls into the bathroom so they could see the mirror... and too quickly, my future flashed before my eyes.

 

I think we're going to have to find a pretty place to take some photos, some more natural light, and drag out the dress... these girls steal my heart.

moments

There are these moments...in mothering...that are almost surreal. These moments where everything seems a little fuzzy except what is in your sights at that specific time at that specific places. Its almost as if everything freezes but at the same time its a small glimpse into something bigger than that place, that moment.

In some of those moments...things seem so big. You walk in, after noticing your 4 year old has been very quiet for an undefined amount of time. To find her, head bent, eyes focused, feet crossed, perfectly poised over a coloring book in a desk that's a little too big. And in that moment, she seems so big. So big. And in that same moment you see how that look that covers her face in that moment before she says "Mama! You scared me!" ... how that is a look that will cover her face for years to come. When she is serious, and focused and concentrating. When she's so immersed into her own thoughts, contentfully alone caught in her own moment. And it just floors you as her Mom.

Then there are those moments where they seem so small. When hurt or pain or discomfort overcomes them... their faces fill with alligator tears, they scream or cry or both. You blow in their face just to get them to breath between the ruckus. And you find yourself, face inches from a toilet, for almost an hour, as a child who has just recently learned to use it, fights with her body to do just that. And in that moment, she seems so small. Her body so little. And you pray and pray and push your patience futher. And everything seems to be in slow motion. And it seems to soon or too quick or just too much. How did we get here? Is she really this big? And when her tiredness for bedtime overcomes her, your oldest daughter finds both of you sleeping on the bathroom floor and brings you back to reality with a "Why are you sleeping in the bathroom? And she doesn't have any pants on?"

These moments, they fly away into memory too quickly and sometimes flee from memory before you ever get a chance for them to sink in. There's the look in their eyes, an expression on their face, where you see how much of their "little" is fleeting and how much of their "big" they've already become... and sometimes, you see you a glimpse of what their "big" will look like. And as a Mama, it just brings you to your knees.

happy friday

I submit this in leiu of irregular posting: http://youtu.be/dql26ssMcVI

Ahem, My YouTube Debut

So, as you probably know, I had a career change back in May and I now work from home via telecommute and an extensive use of GChat. :)

Normally, our staff is scattered through 5 or so zipcodes across the state and rarely all together at the same time.

But then, we were: http://youtu.be/82SLtltduR4

read this book.

I can't do it justice to describe it, just, read it, that is all.

Watch Introduction here: http://youtu.be/zfXgCx3f_1c


(image, reviews and links to purchase found here: http://www.amazima.org/katiesbook.html)


More about the Ministry & Author here: http://www.amazimaministries.blogspot.com/

top 5: for the traveling mama

Been gone three days this week.. and I usually have at least 1 trip away each month. Here's my top 5 for traveling mama's

1. Don't leave your house spotless. I mean, clean up the major stuff that would grow legs and walk off during your absence, but if you leave it less than perfect, you're not so surpised at how "not perfect" it is when you return.

2. Don't expect to get a lot accomplished in the first few hours home. Leave the to-do list aside. Don't try to unpack. If you can just be present the first 10 minutes, often the time to get to the to do list happens much quicker, with many less meltdowns from your children, if you work in the space and time they give you instead of not "really" being home with them.

3. Pick up supper. Or have an imprompu picnic with what's already in your cabinent. You aren't gonna wanna cook. And you are probably not going to want to leave home again. Pick up a pizza. Or have a picnic with non-typical supper foods at your kids choice. We had: turkey/cheese rollups, grapes, goldfish, yogurt bites, cookies, chips, gummies. I won't win any parenting awards for healthy, well-balanced meal on this, but it was so non-stressful and my girls were just as happy as if I'd cooked!

4. Do ask your family what you missed! Ask about school, work, and share stories. Don't just jump back in the grind of co-existing - storytelling gets everyone settled back in together!

5. Loosen the grip on your kids. They probably have some pent up energy or emotion about their routine being disrupted (or maybe they don't).. but if the meltdowns, or high energy play, or tantrum come easily - recognize that your return and"life" resuming back at home all together can trigger the release of all that was built up while you were gone.

There you are.. a few words from a mom's who has done it today...

beach

We went to the beach for a few days as part of fall break last week. It was pretty fabulous! We stayed literally on the beach, with no steps, stairs, elevators or parking between us and the sand! Pretty perfect for when you've got littles and all their stuff!! Weather was beautiful too!

This was our first trip where BOTH girls LOVED, L-O-V-E-D the sand and the pool. Not so much on the ocean, although Hayley was brave enough to get up to her ankles with very little coaxing.

I don't have a ton of pictures... and what I do have isn't even on the beach! But oh, if I would have had a video camera, so many priceless moments!!

Boa decided she loved the sand so much that she would CRAWL from the ocean back to the path to the hotel... she's sporadically roll over dramatically and plop onto her back in the sand, take a deep breath and go again. During these crawling sessions she called herself a monkey, a frog, a lizard and a dog! She also let Michael dig a hole, put her in it and cover her up to her shoulders in sand...and then stayed there for a good 5 minutes, just sitting and chilling. She was especially fond of the BIG holes that other children had left behind, she'd scream so excited and barrell down them and then climb back up, again and again and again!!

Grady loves to be the demolition derby... build it, stack it, mold it..  he will mow it down.. with great joy! It is so funny to watch him, and hear his short little laughs everytime! He and Bowen also had a fun climbing to the top of sand piles and sitting down to "smash" them.

Hayley never blinked about the sand (unless it was in her mouth or eyes) and showed less fear with the ocean. She is such a cautious and easily spooked child! We are trying to be deliberate in "coaching" her out of her fears and talking her through situations. I know much of this will come with age as in previous years she wouldn't even put her feet in the sand and now she's digging in the edge of the water!

We took the girls to the "new" Miracle Strip where Bowen decided she LOVES (her words) the horses on the merry go round. We rode it twice! Hayley did the jumping pillow and really liked it and even got her nerve up to ride the merry go round on Bowen's second round (although she rode on one of the benches that didn't move!) Michael says she decided halfway through the ride she wanted to try a horse, but we were out of tickets and we don't move while the ride is moving! I hope she'll be brave again the next time we are at a merry go round!

We also let them each pick out one new pair of Crocs at the Croc Store in Pier Park... they were TRUE girls, both trying on several pairs and ooo'ing and ahhh'ing over all the choices and colors.. and then we wore the shoes out of the store!!

It was a really great few days at the beach with all our crew...and probably the last time we'll be able to get away with just 2 adjoining rooms, the Smith's are gonna take up a room of their own come next beach season!! We take up a whole one since we usually split the beds/girls.. one parent/one child. It was very nice to travel without a pack-n-play! We also went without a stroller but Boa hitched a ride with Grady and that was nice too! Now if I can get serious about getting her potty trained we can drop these pullups too!!

phone photos..this month

overwhelmed

I think its way past time to break the silence here.

This past month has been... a. lot. And at times it's been completely overwhelming and in short bursts its been completely normal. But overall, its just been a month. I don't write this in a "woe is me" or "my life is worse" or any sort of attention-seeking or comparison-based place. This is what my heart has carried... and I think its time to let it out.

Stomach Virus. Out of town 2 days. Hospitalization of my grandmother. Stomach Virus hits again. Transfer of Grandmother. Loss of Grandmother. Croup. Cold/Cough. Work. Car Accident involving two family members. Scare with pregnancy (not mine). Divorce (not mine). Whole bottle of Prescription Cough Medicine gone in less than 2 weeks. More cough Medicine. Infected Finger.

All of this, happening, day after day, filling the weeks of the past month. But as we emerge from to what I hope is the other side of this month, I can look back and the many ways God wove His plan through my less-than-planned-definitely-not-prepared-for month.

Stomach viruses were short-lived, and sickness was not terminal for our girls. No one was seriously injured in the wreck. There was mercy in death and a shortness of suffering. Babies and mama are just fine. Hearts are broken but protected. Fingers heal.

In all of it, I am grateful, because I see mercy and grace from God covering our family in it. There is provision. Things could have been so much worse in so many cases. We are blessed from an Almighty Savior.. who delights in being Healer... who always is Great Physician... and proudly, Father God.

But to sit back and say it hasn't been hard or discouraging or just plain out overwhelming. That I can't say, but I can feel my heart break for those who carry these burdens for longer times than I have. Who live with chronic illness or life events that seem determined to break their spirits. And I just want to hold them and say "Keep holding onto Jesus" in all things He is good and He is God and He will not fail you. Even if this isn't what you pictured your life being. Or your situation. Or your decision. Or whatever it is.

As the song says...: http://youtu.be/Lmi9IBP209s

Today.. my overall healthy babies left with their scratched up but healthy daddy. My house still stands. My family has started to heal its broken hearts - not to forget, but to carry. There are babies to look forward to in the spring. There is food in the pantry. There is money in the bank. There is still. so. much . good.

We must dwell there.

official

So... this weekend... I shot my first "official" wedding by myself!

Here are 3 of my favorites (see my top 120 picks on my facebook page)

These are all Straight Out of Camera, shot in AV with manual control.

 

 

 

Notes from this:

1. I really like having 2 shooters. This one I did by myself, and I was good, but I just love the extra options for ceremony shots from having 2 shooters.I will definitely have to call SUSACO back into town the next time I get the invite to shoot a wedding!

2. I have GOT to get my act together with shooting in dark receptions... this is my third rodeo and I still am NOT even CLOSE to happy with how those photos are turning out.

3. Outside photos can be the best and WORST lighting... when its right, it is SO SO pretty... when its not, it makes things more difficult!

4. I've got to get some more practice with the extended zoom lens... don't love it yet.

 

Wedding Stats:

Original Picture Count: 876

Deliberate Deletions: 115 (bad focus, closed eyes, etc)

Additional Not So Happy Shots (as in I don't love them): 100

Top First Round Pictures (not all inclusive): 120

Time Frame: 4p - 9p

the waiting game

there is a strange place that we sit and wait

A place where questions circle faster than answers.
... doubts and fears meet reality and tears

There is a strangeness met with anticipation, reflection, deliberation
 what lies here and beyond...

You sit and wait

The world keeps moving, things keep changing
But so much keeps standing still

You sit and wait

And in the hours where waiting gives way
The tears come faster
The heart beats stronger

Just as quickly the world turns upside down

The waiting ends

There is calmness and anguish
Laughter and tears
Smiles and sighs intertwined
With words that are shallow and words that are deep
The battle for normal, the battle for sleep

And in that darkenss, the soul cries out most

Just sit and wait.

In time things will balance
In time things will settle

The time now, is stuck here in the middle

You sit and wait.

Let's talk a little more about denial...

(2009) First Birthday

(2012) Fourth Birthday

same dress, but look at much we've grown!!

(and this is the last year we'll fit in the dress, I'm pretty sure 4 years is a great run!ha)

School Begins

 

Tomorrow marks the end of the first week for Hayley-girl. This is what we've learned from her this week:

 

Her nap mat is on the ABC rug. Some people sleep on the play rug, but her's in one the ABC rug.

They eat snack in the hallway. Always.

They don't teach letters and numbers at this school. (ha, can't wait to tell her teacher that!)

Some of the girls have beads in their hair, and its so pretty! One has all colors and one has silver and white.

On Tuesday, child1 wanted to hold her hand on the playground but she didn't want to. (so I told her to tell the other child "no thank you" or "i don't want to do that") But she and child2 did hold hands while they were playing because they wanted to! (she was so serious that I almost fell out of my seat trying not to laugh at this dilemna)

The woodchips from the playground kept getting in her "school shoes" and making them big.

Grumpy Gills

We have a saying in this house... when someone is being a ill-pill, we say they have on their "grumpy gills" . We've said it for a while, but this week its come up a lot (those weeks happen sometimes).

Earlier this week, Bowen was fit-pitching about doing something other than what she was doing and Michael reached behind her ears and said "give me those grumpy gills" and that was SO not flying with her. She scrunched her face out and in her best wail said "gimme my grumpy gills BACK!"

Oh buddy, I thought Michael was going to pick me up from laughing so hard.

Then this morning I got a text from Michael after dropping the girls off at daycare... it said "Bowen just put her grumpy gills in her pocket!"

That girl. That girl.

What We're Reading: Llama Llama

It's been a while since I've updated our reading list... here's our newest favorite!!


(photo from www.amazon.com)

I think its what we are going to deem Bowen's first favorite book! She's been carrying it around for 3 straight days and saying "llama llama" over and over and over again. Its just as cute as you think.

What makes this book a winner:
"Baby Llama, what a tizzy!
Sometimes Mama's very busy.
Please stop all this LLAMA DRAMA
and be patient for your mama!"

amen. amen. amen.

Great rhythm and rhyme!!

Hayley's K3 Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

Whew... its DONE!

One year....

From this... to this....

one year people, one year

let's not even talk about this further.

ok? ok.



Our Summer Bucket List

So I'm sure if you use pinterest at all, you've seen the "Fifty Fun Things To Do This Summer" pins... and everyone has their cutesy perfectly balanced List... our poster is more like crayon scribbles expoded over my feeble attempt at cuteness. Its not pretty in the least, but it has been SO MUCH FUN!!

We've still got about 2 week of summer left before Hayley starts Pre-K (let's not discuss this just yet, my Mama heart is starting to process what that means), so we're still working down our list.

We started with 50 things, added about 15 others, but still lack about 19 completions from the original 50...so we're just about break even.

It has been as much fun for us as the girls I think! But its a great way to be intentional with time spent together...and to make you more concious of choosing a little thing to make into a big thing!

Some of our list that's completed: (in no particular order)

• Pick Blueberries with Meme
• Paint with Nana
• Spend the night with Breezy
• Spend the night with Mischa
• Have Grady spend the night with us (currently happening as I type this)
• Make a dessert (chocolate pudding pops)
• Gymnastics Camp
• Costa Rica (and yes, I realize that I never followed through with that whole, more info coming soon thing)
• Ride Daddy's boat.
• Ride Granddaddy's boat.
• Do Puzzles
• Blow Bubbles
• Have a water balloon war
• Play in the lake water & sand.
• Ride in Granddaddy's Jeep
• Go to water park (we did this twice!)
• Make kool-aid ice (also a pinterest inspiration)
• Play with Court & Bubba
• Read
• Swap beds
• Stay up late (how about doing this for a whole week at the lake!!!)
• Eat Pizza
• Eat Mexican
• Ride Carousel at Mall (and have icees and cookies from the Cookie Shop)
• Spend the night with Meme
• Swim at Mischa's
• Swim at Breezy's
• Eat lunch with friends.

Some things we have left to do:

• Visit Children's Museum
• Picnic at Turtle Park
• Riverquarium
• Have a friend over
• Swim at Mr. Lee's and Aunt Jackie's
• Go to Library
• Take family photos (since this was an epic fail at Easter & Wedding)

and I know I'm missing some on both lists but I'm SO not getting up to double check myself.

Anyway, you should make one.

It totally makes summer ROCK!

biggest summer slacker award for lack of blogging.

right here people, right here

gymnastics

Hoping this video works... y'all turn your volume down - its loud! And ignore my loud voice too!

What we do...

aka The World's Most Complicated Process to ensure that Mickey Mouse head cookies actually look like Mickey Mouse's head.

1. Buy tubs of chocolate chip cookie dough, because let's get serious, this Mama doesn't even know how to spell Betty Crocker.
2. Consult the internet and best cooks/bakers you know for their input.
3. Take all that input...throw 99.5% of it out the window.
4. Spread dough onto baking sheet.
5. Cut out 6 mouse heads per baking sheet. Mentally note that this takes less than 1/4 of a tub...decide right then not to do the math as to how many times we'd be repeating these steps.
6. Pull off all the extra dough.
7. Bake for 8 minutes.
8. Pull out of oven, recut mouse head.
9. Peel off "cookie crispie" edges. Watch husband and girls devour them. Realize that by losing all your fingerprints from cookie burns you'll never work for the government unless you're a spy.
10. Cook freshly trimmed mouse heads for another 4 minutes.
11. Let cool.
12. Repeat.
13. Repeat.
14. Repeat.
15. Repeat. Notice that tubs are not looking that much more empty after each round of cutting. Ask out loud how many more pans is this gonna take. Hear and pretend to not hear Husband say 6.
16. Repeat. Hear husband say "my momma is the cookie queen!" ... ask why it is that we are making storebought cookies when she is the queen. Husband says I dunno.. just thought this would be one of the memories we'd talk about when we're old and retired, you know, if one of us isn't dead by then. Make mental note to put Grandmama in charge of cookies for any and all events coming forward.
17. Repeat.
18. Repeat minus the commentary.
19. Repeat.

well hello long lost friends

well, our general craziness has kept us shrouded in craziness once again... but its what we do, so we just roll with it!

This past Sunday Bowen turned 2 and I can hardly believe it! We'll have her party this weekend since Sunday was only 2 days from when we returned from Costa Rica.

She is our sweet, squishy, sassy, curly-headed girl! Her personality is so dynamic and so entertaining! She really rolls with the punches, until she's made up her mind one way, then its her way or no way!

She is full of spunk and completely her own person!

A few facts about you, Bowen:

She wakes up SUPER happy from her naps and first thing in the morning.

She and Grady have a special bond...they make each other the maddest, but also make each other laugh the hardest. They definitely have their own world together.

Her favorite phrase right now is: Heeey ______ whatcha doin'??

This week she also tickled me by saying "Not yet. Tank you thou"

Favorite Foods: Spaghetti, Cheerios, Gummies, Bananas

Favorite Movies/TV: Boz the Bear, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Night Time Must Haves: Violet, Blankets, Puppy & Duck, Crocodile, Puppy

Favorite Toys: blocks, baby dolls, cell phone

Favorite Drink: milk

Can Dos: sing her ABCs, count to 20, sing Itsy Bitsy Spider, Jesus Loves Me

We just love her!!

_____________________________________

Costa Rica updates coming soon

quote it.

"Our point of departure for a Christian understanding of poverty is to remember that the
poor are people with names, people to whom God has given gifts, and people with whom and among whom God has been working before we even know they are there."

Bryant Myers – Walking with the Poor

 

(found here...)

 

thinking lots about mission work...the attitudes and perceptions, agendas and outcomes of our trip this week... have read many things written by live-in missionaries which challenge me

circus. afro.

http://youtu.be/E_anPOe-SF4

this seriously cracks me up

(posted in leiu of anything of value...stay tuned for possible life updates...emphasis on possible)

somebody is making this up... but not me!

So, MeMaw has come up a lot in conversation this week.

On Tuesday, Hayley told me that "MeMaw was coming to Tyler & Tanner's birthday... but that her birthday was July 1st...and she was gonna be FOR-TY (yes, she emphasised that)." So I just had to ask what MeMaw looked like "Gray hair...but longer than yours Mama... all the way down to her knees." uh huh. ok.

Then today, I got the following text from Michael:
"Hayley and MeMaw saw a chicken horse the other day. They are mean according to Hayley. Bowen's response to the story is "awwww man!"

like, not another Memaw story!

We agree Bowen, we agree.

Hayley's MeMaw

So I know its pretty normal for kids with active imaginations to have imaginary friends and get totally wrapped up in their imaginary world...but my kid, she's thrown us a loop on this...

She has a imaginary MeMaw!

Yes, seriously! And its not because she's short on grandparents... she's got both sets of grandparents, 1 full set of great-grandparents and 2 great-grandmothers... she's not lacking in the grandparent realm at all.

But yet, she has an imaginary MeMaw.... this is what we know about her:

She lives in Florida.
Her name is Martha.
She has a pony and a pink castle.
She lets Hayley have bubblegum for breakfast.

And her stories go "Well, my Memaw lets me." or "At my MeMaw's house, I can...."

It is seriously the funniest thing EVER... we have NO idea where she is getting all this, but evidently Memaw's house is where everything is right in Hayley-world!

She has even had a breakdown about "I wannnnntttt myyyyy MeeeMaw!!!!"

Its insanity!

official

So, the next phase of life is looking official.

Today was my first day "not a full-time employee" ... and the first day of this next phase of life for me and my family.

And I'm pumped!

Today I started training with my new job... the job that came about after I turned in a resignation without a backup plan. Y'all, our God is big, and good, and loves to be all in your business.

And beyond that, it is a job that was my heart's desire a few months ago... but there was no way in my own control or any of the circumstances, that I could make it my own, now or later.

But God is big. And He listens. Even to the stirrings of our hearts that no one else knows.

And He says, I can do that.

Watch me.

And He Did.

My new job is with a great organization and allows me to work from home 98% of the time.

And its part-time, 20-25 hours a week.

So I can blend my need to be productive and a part of something, with my desire to spend more time and energy on my house and family and the things that I enjoy being a part of. And leaves more time for me to get involved with local projects or missions that may stir my attention.

I am VERY excited about this opportunity for both my professional and personal life to find a happy medium and balance.

I didn't get very much "done" today at home, but the peace and change of routine that was found in today's balance and flow, it was good.

whoops

Where in the world did the last few weeks go?!

I haven't been purposely silent here, but we have lived in reinstated chaos for the past few weeks and my brain hadn't even registered that this small corner of life was quiet.

I realized just how crazy its been since at least Friday of last week when Hayley walked in our bedroom this morning and said "why are there two baskets of clothes??" both of which I had stashed away from visitors in our home on Sunday and there they had remained and one of them still has clothes in it from at least 3 weeks ago (and I know this because they are all long-sleeved and its been at least that long since the weather went loco for 3 days before returning to slap-middle-of-summer stifling heat.) And I say since Friday because I know for certain I have done nothing with clothes since then because we haven't been home much since then.

Also, I've spent my time losing arguments like this one with my three-year-old:

(after she's gotten out of her room 4 times in 5 minutes at bedtime)
Me: Get in the bed! You need your rest! You have school tomorrow! And Sha Shas!
Hayley: But I take a nap at school... and I take a nap at Sha Sha's....
(as her daddy snickers)

No, those red polka dotted shoes don't match your pink and white capris. Well, yes, technically those black cowboy boots do. Yes, that's fine, wear the cowboy boots. (side note: Breezy picked her up this day and would NOT take her to the ballfield in her boots so we ended up with 2 new pairs of shoes!!! Since she couldn't go to the ballgame without matching just so!)

No, you can not wear your princess pajamas to school. I know all the girls in your class love Princesses, but we can not wear our pajamas to school.


And watching the standoffs between Bowen's resolve NOT to do something and everyone else's resolve for her to get with the program!!!

ahem, a letter

So its been a while since I've done a Dear.... Letter (see previous ones by clicking the tag below), but lets drag this one on back up in the posting...

Dear nameless birthday-party-supply-company-who-sent-me-a-magazine-today,

For the record, dear supply company, it is totally NOT LEGIT to send a magazine and then have the products on "limited availability" or "out of stock" ... um, I'm sorry..did you actually mail this out months ago and I somehow missed the "stocked" supplies, because I got PEOPLE who work for the POST OFFICE that will totally back me up on my mail not getting "lost" or "delayed" on their watch. And, dear company, if indeed, my mail was direct from me to you, exactly how many supplies were you NOT planning on making once you shamelessly promoted them to birthday planning mothers all over. And PLEASE tell me how the solid color plates and tableware are in such high demand that you have them in limited quantities, but I can buy TWENTY of the extremely character-ized party sets without any quantity issues...especially since those are TWICE as expensive as the solid colors?

And for the record, while we're on it, IN WHAT WORLD do sets of napkins or dessert plates need to come in packs of 18? I mean, really, who says "I think I'll have a party of 18 today...not 15 or 20, but 18...that seems like a GREAT balance between not too big and not too small!

Sincerely,
Next Time Your Magazine is Going in the Trash EVEN if it did catch me with its $5 off coupon this time.

I am WISE to your SCHEMES!

true story

Tonight I went to my monthly women's group.. its a good time for my soul.

I also received this text, not much over an hour from when I left home:

Just finished an hour long stand off with Bowen sitting in the corner... she wouldn't say yes sir even after two pops on the rear.

Y'all, this girl of ours... she is fiercly her own!

Then 30 minutes later:

P.S. Your cookies are gone

What happens when daddy stays home, doesn't always stay with daddy at home!!

more steps

Its been quiet here in my corner... but a different kind of quiet from before.

I've been alternating between sitting in contentment and fighting my soul into peacefulness.

There is so much confirmation that I wish I had taken the small moments to write it all down, to show all the means in which God has spoken His upcoming provision to me in the past few weeks. In blog posts, music, articles... it is almost unsettling how intrisicly everything is connected together, but knowing its Divine, it makes it unexplainable.

I still don't have the details on what this next phase looks like. I still have two weeks of processing out with the last phase. Its an interesting feeling, to know that in two weeks everything changes, but yet, in those two weeks, so much stays the same.

Its like a present that you wrap with care... making sure that everything is just right. Tying up the past with a pretty bow, tagging it with finality.

It does a heart good to have time to process transition. To fully breathe it in, understand it, prepare for it, and work through it.

The tears that come with seperation, are replaced by peace and anticipation. The nerves give way to "nesting" the details out.

I so appreciate y'all walking this journey with me.

day to day

I have done much more scurrying than dwelling the last few days.

Such in life in transition... many of the day to days must still go on as if nothing has changed... yet so much is still uncertain.

------

Our girls successfully performed as flower girls this weekend. They did MUCH better than expected... no fits or tears or tantrums or refusal to go down the aisle.

Major accomplishment.

And they looked just precious doing it!

the walk continues

To say that God has been moving in big ways this week doesn't seem enough to give Him praise for His moving.

This week has brought tears and laughter for me, but ultimately, its brought peace and its brought first-hand knowledge of just how invested God is in our lives.

Even if we've gone months without feeling Him as closely as other times in our lives.

Even if we've wasted countless days on things that are not OF Him of FOR Him.

He is a thorough and detailed God.

Who answers even the smallest steps of faith.

And knows me well enough to only provide the smallest of "nexts" in time.

To keep my resting and trusting in Him.

Even as I see Him working.

I must whisper to my heart again and again....

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful.
Trust in Him.
Do not worry, do not push, do not fret.
Breathe.
Trust.
Wait.
In all things, He is working.
In all things, He knows the way.
Wait.

and He answers.

The veil begins to move.

http://youtu.be/JU4U8_wMdRs

And while the end is not certain,

the path continues to be made.

Praise Him.

unsettled

tonight, my soul is unsettled.

mostly because my SELF is fighting to control the outcomes.

and when SELF does that, there is only chaos and internal turmoil.

even before there are choices to be made

even while the unknowns are greater than the knows

my flesh wants to control it.

to change to way.

or more accurately,

to make a way

to force an outcome

trying to still my heart to listen for His direction

I can not leap where He doesn't lead.

And I can not lead Him to where I see.

Talking myself down

over and over again.

If God ordains, surely He will make a way (taken from musical/drama Two from Galilee).

Trust in the Lord your God. He will give you the desires of your Heart. In all things, he works for the good of those who loved Him and are called according to His purpose. In as much as the flowers of the fields are beautifully clothed, how much MORE does He delight in us and care for us.

Lord,
I will not run ahead of You. Though everything human in me seeks to know, I will wait. I. will. wait. I will trust and I will know that you dwell in peace. And in peace I must await Your leading. I can not change or make an outcome out of desire alone, I place my desires in your hands. Quiet them so I only hear you.

quieting my spirit tonight with this song

http://youtu.be/dCAxDqkFBMk

piece by piece

In each step of this journey, as I confirm again and again that my resignation will stand. That I will walk this road.

He meets me in the most suprising of places.

I received an email and a letter, both from separate sources, both with options...possible chances for investment... possible opportunities to serve, to give, to be a part of a big picture.

They arrived within minutes of returning from the staff meeting where my resignation became public knowledge to the leading staff members of this place.

Be still He says. Wait He says. Trust He says.

And even though much is still unanswered.

The pieces, are weaving together.

And while I am too afraid to count on anything other than Him just now.

I think that's right where I should be.

Waiting. Testing.

Open.

Praise Him.

weaving it together

In the short minutes after I called my boss (yes, I called him, he wasn't in the office and I had already talked to the in-office Admin team), literally, within 2 minutes, an email came across which confirmed that the story was really beginning.

I received an email from a pregnancy crisis center in a nearby town.

A center I had emailed after a quick search for crisis centers in Georgia.

An email I sent on Saturday morning, before anyone other than Michael knew what I was thinking.

And in the moments after hanging up with my boss, making my resignation official.

I received it.

A confirmation email that they are accepting volunteers and will be sending me information on their clinic.

Something that is exciting and somewhat terrifying.

Because I'm still not sure of much of the path.

Or what the end picture looks like.

But I know that the weaving, it is God and He is moving.

Meeting my meagar,small faith steps in big ways.

Praise Him.

yes, please.

(from here)

the rest of the story... at least the beginning

So as I've hinted at... its been a big week around these parts.

And since so much of it stems from what I've learned and seen in the blogging community, its time to share it with y'all too.

On Monday, I resigned from my job.

My perfectly safe. Perfectly paying-the-bills. Monday through Friday, 8 - 5 job.

Resigned.

And that's where the rest of the story really is... when I posted this I was also dealing with an internal battle that I've been fighting for months now.

This perfectly good, perfectly normal job I have.... it doesn't make me feel important. Which isn't the point at all. But what I do, while important to our business function, is not important to my FAITH function. Its not essential for the Kingdom. Its not a valuable use of my time for God.

And I'm not jumping into the extreme "you have to be radical to be a good believer" camp here. That's not where I'm coming from.

But I wanted to be able to look my girls in the face one day, when they are old enough to understand, and tell them that Mama does what she does because it matters. Because it affects things for the better. Because its being faithful to her convictions.

That job security. Safety. The way everyone else does life... is not the only way.

And so I went to see October Baby.

And while I'd seen the previews and pre-screened some of the Every Life is Beautiful cameos.

It rocked my world.

To think about all those babies that are affected by abortion. Babies like mine who never even had a shot at changing the world, taken from it before they ever entered it.

To think about all those women, who made that choice, in that moment. And the lives that they lead past it, which are never fully separate from the decisions they've made.

To think of the parents, who walk the road of adoption, who carry the weight of their life stories (sometime hidden, sometime openly) with the children they call their own.

I thought about grace. Redemption. Truth.

The need and ache of a society who needs those things. Truth. Redemption. Grace. Options.

And while I am certainly not equipped to fight this battle.

My heart is invested in it.

I left the theatre in body-wretching, shaking, red face, full-out ugly cry.

And God whispered to me.

This matters.

This. Matters.

And I came home and drafted a resignation letter.

And on Monday turned to the co-workers who have become my work family.

And whispered that I was walking away.

To what... I wasn't sure. And I'm still not.

But I KNOW that if God intends to use me, I must be ready and willing to take the first faith step.

And that is what I am doing.

I covet your prayers.

truth.

these curls make me a happy mama

errr...

So as I noted before... I really should be more aware of posting things like these.

Because, when you do something like think your life is pretty tame and pretty normal.

God, in my case, decides to shake things up a little.

And get all in my face about where my life is headed and what it stands for.

And that whole conversation started before and ended after... this movie

http://youtu.be/I_9l7lEe-AA

.

More details on this coming soon. But I highly suggest taking tissue to the movies if you put this on your watch list.

Still working through the process of being faithful, listening closely, and stepping out in faith.

proud

one of my favorite shots from a wedding I co-shot Saturday!

(this is straight out of camera, no edits!)

abnormal

I know this is probably not a majority opinion.

But I strongly, strongly, strongly dislike

kissy pictures!

Like kissing couple engagement pictures and wedding pictures.

Or maybe,

I dislike that those are the ones that are most publicly displayed.

I mean, I've seen great photographers with great pictures.. but with all of them being kissy...

Something makes me feel all "creeper" being in their moment.

Now, I don't say that to offend anyone who loves them or has them or anything, because if its all good for you, its all good.

But, me, yuck.. yick... no thank you.

little shopper

This in words will not do it justice.

But like so many moments with children under 2... namely Boa Sis... there is no way to capture what is happening when its happening...

And such is this.

We went to the beach (obviously if you've seen the few pictures I've posted so far over the last week.)

Near the beach is the outlet malls. Hello shopping where have you been ?!?!

We took the girls to the Carter's Outlet to find swimsuits.

We stop at the swimsuit racks which are halfway back through the store alongside one wall.

We (me and Aunt Mischa) say something about picking out new swimsuits and which ones do they like... and generally trying to keep them focused on this one area (because rookie outlet mama here forgot there was a lego table which would have totally kept them occupied).

So Bowen and Hayley are down. Mischa and I start flipping.

And then we hear

"oooooo cuuuuuttttteee"

about 12 times.

From BOWEN.

I sat down to try to slow her down, but then she began pulling hangers off the rack saying "oooo cute" and handing them to me.

"Ooooo cute" and "oooo cuuutte" and 12 hangers later, I'm laughing so hard I can't even stop her in her shopping glory.

It was a girl story.

For sure.

And it would have made her Breezy proud.

Because I'm pretty sure the "ooooo cute" came from her in the first place!

note to self

Post something like this on your blog.

And God will reckon with you and the way you live your life.

And not in a bad way.

But He will.

Just trust me on this one for right now... ok?

praise be

Today should warrant a gorgeous post.

One full of imagery, thankfulness, awe.

Filled with carefully crafted and doted upon words.

Today is "Good"

But there is nothing "Good" about the first Friday.

A day filled with mocking, scorn, pain and anguish.

A day when God stepped away from His son who was filled with so much un-holiness.

My unholiness.

Yours too. And generations that haven't even come to be.

Their unholiness.

The ugly broken sinful selfish often on repeat full-out no other way to look at it brokenness.

No humility in our brokenness. Just evil. Corruption. Greed. Natural Self.

So much to bear for one man.

Not too much to bear for One God.

Stretched out in the most painful of position.

In a place of no respect. No honor. Only grief.

The place of the skull.

The resting place of theives. Villians. Evil Ones.

The place of death of a Savior.

A merciful God.

A place of redemption.

Forgiveness.

Pain washed by blood.

Forgivenness bought with a price.

His life. His blood. His world.

For ours.

For mine.

Broken. Bleeding. Bruised.

Mocked. Acused.

There was nothing "good" about the first Friday.

But it was the first of the last.

The beginning of the end.

The initial continum on which God's kingdom would stand.

Sacrifice given. Wholeness received.

Praise be to the Father, who loved me over His Son.

Praise be to the Son, who loved me over His own life.

Praise. Be.

Girl Mama

Hey there! My name is Meghan and I'm a GIRL mama! Meet my two littles...

Bowen (almost 2)

Hayley (almost 4)

(girls are 22 months, 4 days apart)

 

While I am already afraid of what the teenage years may bring us (because the sass and the attitude and the tears...oh the tears that can plague their little hearts now... will only continue I'm sure!)

 

Everyone tells me I "need" a boy... but I've got FOUR nephews which gives me plenty of high energy high-level boy exposure. And I know it sounds weird, but girl speed works for me. Boys, there is something special there with them and their mamas, but woah do they wear me out!

 

Part of it is probably that I'm from a girl family... just me and a sister. And 60% of all my first cousins (there are 13 of us) are female, so boys have just always been the minority for me!

 

All opinions aside (because everyone has their own... and I know where their Breezy stands in that there should just be MORE children, regardless of gender!)... I love being a girl mama.

 

Its the only kind of mama I know to be!

 

Linking with: kellyskornerblog.com

 

(click on labels below to see more posts on the girls.. and the explanation for their nicknames!)

 

relapse

Before, I may have mentioned that I'm a bit of a food-brand elitist.

In all our discussion on "Wellness Wednesdays" (see as tagged over here -----> ), we spent a little time about the low-to-no salt revolution at our house.

For the most part, this goes well. (excluding the bags of potato chips I hoard in my work office because Lays are just SO. GOOD.)

This weekend, we attempted to branch out some more by buying these. It was the first time we'd ever seen them, so we figured it'd be worth a shot, after all the Hint of Salt Triscuits are winners here with Mikie.

Now, the thing of note is HALF the sodium of regular Ritz... which by the way, you don't really want to know how salty those things are.

BUT, the deal breaker is... less than 5% of the taste of Ritz.

Even Mikie, who is the truest of the reformed salt-lovers in our house agrees.

These are terrible. Awful. Taste nothing like a Ritz even with cheese on top (which is the whole reason we bought them in the first place, obviously.)

So once again, I will stand, on my elitist ways for only TRUE sodium-will-kill-you-if-you-think-about-it, ORIGINAL Ritz.

sister girl does not like her toes in the sand

coming clean

So I think I may have figured out what's got my blogging button broken...

I read this post which hit home with some thoughts I'd been having... and then coupled that thought process with the other thoughts I've been having, and figured out.

I have blog guilt.

Full. Onset. Blog. Guilt.

Those in the blogging community often talk about comparison and how we blog as much for ourselves as for others... its never meant to cause hard feelings, or be a competition, or anything other than a shared experience.

And I think that's true.

But I've also found... that I think my life is too NON-stressful or NON-radical to talk about... without putting others in an different place because our lives are different than theirs.

Which I don't know if anyone else would even feel that way, but that's what happens in my head.

I've read (and journey) via blog friends on the road of infertility and adoption, large families and overseas missionaries. Friends and families that are so different from mine, but that I've grown to follow with my heart as much as my eyes when I read. And I see their struggles, and I feel bad, that my life doesn't have those too.

Not that my life is perfect, because its not. But often, I feel like my burdens are less than others. And that I'll be read (by all 20 of you) as less than considerate.

And as I think of my life, all that I HAVEN'T or DON'T do, the things that I thought were ordinary until I read the lives of others... and think, I shouldn't share. I don't want to be read as bragging or less than appreciative or less than grateful or less than aware of the blessings that God has bestowed on us of no merit of our own. I don't want to focus on all that is right in my world when there are so many other worlds that are in struggle or in limbo or in.. something, anything... other than just fine.

So, I've decided I need to be fair to myself... and come clean with it.

1. I feel guilty that my two children came from uncomplicated pregnancies and births, and I haven't walked the infertility or miscarriage road. (and knowing the statistics, that makes me the exception, not the rule)

and really, that's the biggest one. Why did God give us 2 children who came so easily, when so many others have so much to conquer to bring their children into this world or into their homes?

2. We minister in a small church that isn't accomplishing big things by "church" standards.

3. We've never battled unexpected death or chronic or serious onset sickness in our immediate families.

4. We've not had a major life-changing moment that restructures everything we know.


We've been so blessed (and that sounds so insincere....) but we have been so protected as a family, that it just leaves me feeling speechless to pour out anything that can compare (which I know, we shouldn't be comparing) to the life stories of my blog friends.

With them I cry and celebrate. I long for their hearts desires to be filled by an Almighty God with an Almighty plan.

But I also feel like its too much to share the goodness that is in my life... when I did nothing to make it that way.

well

it turns out that despite my lack of blogging, my panic button still works just fine.

you know, in case you were wondering.

I've decided that my panic button becomes basically irreversible at temps of 102.5 - 103.

as in,

can hardly breath so stressed about to take to doc or fight it out with med rotation.

needless to say, Bowen threw us a curveball of a fever yesterday out of nowhere.

its lower via medicine today,

so I've calmed the mostly panic, into internal panic over whether she is hydrated enough and where in the world did a 103 fever come from without anything else other than a runny nose anyway??


----

in other news, I really do intend on sharing some pictures some time soon...I've been less than impressed with most of the ones I have of our family thus far this year, but we've got some great opportunities with a few days of beach time this week, Easter and a wedding all this month!

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