and while we're at it....

I saw a commercial for WWE (I think that was the initials..wrestlin' ain't my thing)... and it had Buzz Aldrin in it... you know, the astronaut.

This completely contradicts everything I know and believe about the space program.


Really Buzz? A promo for WWE? Where you get hit with a chair while wearing full-space gear?

No no my friend... that falls into the "things that people who are associated with patriotic acts should not resort to even if they are old and evidently need money."

How would I live without you??

Seriously, y'all...


I just logged onto a webinar for training that is sponsored by the Software Program that our entire financial accounting, etc. is done from...

and there is some music playing... I'm expecting your standard, unidentifiable la-ti-da sounds...

but no...

its... this... song...

How Do I Live Without You?


its like the accompaniment version...with like a flute or cello or something instead of vocals.

my entire middle-school memory just jumped back from the 90s....


someone pick me up off the floor.

this is too much.

Is it too much to ask??

We have 2 vending machines here at work.. one dispenses Pepsi products, one dispenses Coke products. That is all the background information you need to know, really, its just that simple.

EXCEPT

The Pepsi machine, which is where the Sunkists are stocked (even though they aren't actually a Pepsi product)... and we all know about my orange caffinated addiction (as evidenced here and here).

For the past 3 weeks, every time I want one... its SOLD OUT. Seriously folks, EVERY TIME.

What does a pregnant lady have to do to get a cold drink around here??

In other related news, said Pepsi machine is also possessed to a level of OCD that I didn't realize machines were capable of... it disciminates quarters based on their year of production. It evidently is having a hard time accepting that each state needed its own design on its on set of quarters because it REFUSES to take "new" quarters.

But, in true machine fashion, when one person puts money in and hits the Sunkist button which then says SOLD OUT (which by the way, it won't tell you until AFTER you put your money in) and thus decides that said person is not settling for a Dr. Pepper AGAIN.. it will spit your money out in quarters, but not just any quarters... NEW quarters, STATE quarters... the very quarters that it will NOT TAKE when you try to purchase a drink.

I mean, seriously??!!

And as evidence to my delirium in regards to this matter, I am seriously contemplating leaving a sticky note that threatens death to anyone who attemps to purchase Sunkist so that I might have a shot a getting one when I have a craving.

Good grief. Now I'm as crazy as.... well, we'll just leave it at that.

Hoorah & Welcome....and all that army talk

Yay! My college roomie has joined the blogging world... if you know Lori, check her out (by clicking her name)!

Hayley & Her Colors

We went out to eat Thursday night down in Colquitt because Michael had a taste for shrimp... as we (our family plus M's parents) were sitting there waiting on our food this little old lady (whom I'm sure I'm supposed to know, but I don't) comes up and starts talking to Michael and his dad... she then speaks to Hayley as all good little Southern old ladies do.... I look over at Hayley (who is next to me but farthest away from the little lady) and tell her to say 'tell her hey' (you know, gotta train 'em up right in the social aspect of small town life)... Hayley then looks up from her crackers at the lady and says.... "hair... blue? white?"

Please pardon me while I pick myself up off the floor.

Luckily, said little lady was already carrying on her conversation with M and Mr. D. and she missed our color observations, but seriously, I almost fell out of my chair!

So I have a Not Me! post in the works... but I feel like I can't post it until McMama kicks it off officially on her blog... it would be like trying to throw a birthday party at the same time on the same day with the same kids and the same theme...and that would just be wrong.


In other news, I've had to tie my shoes 4 separate times today because I have yet to find the proper angle of leg propping/stomach dodging to succeed with a tight tie.

And in a photo op... this is Hayley helping Daddy hang the pictures in the hallway... more acurately, this is Hayley wanting to be on the ladder at the same time as Daddy wants to come down the ladder.

How Many?

How many grown adults does it take to watch one child pick up 6 Easter Eggs???

At least TEN!

what town is this?

This weekend Lane FINALLY returned to her hometown so I could see her again, so we decided to grab some Mexican (our favorite) and get pedicures at this new nail place on the square in downtown Blakely.

sounds simple enough right?

WRONG!

When we got to the nail place, which has just recently opened, there were 15 people in there!! And so we kind of looked around and finally 1 of the 3 people working there looks up and says "yes?" and we're like "two pedicures please" and he says "20 minutes" and we say ok... and we decide to go sit outside because its spring in South Georgia and all the furniture was taken inside the little place.... so we chat amongst ourselves for about 20 minutes and walk back into the place to notice that NO ONE has left or even really moved positions... so we sit down in the window ledge (the only place not full) and continue talking...for an HOUR... um, hello, did I take a wrong turn and end up in another place? Anywho, right before we noticed that we had been waiting an hour (we don't see each other in person a whole lot so we had lots of catching up to do) we decided that we must be next because the people who were there when we got there were down to 2, so we went to pick out our colors so we'd be all prepared when it was our turn... which was an experience itself given the color rack included names like "cowardly lyin' " for yellow and "burnt buns" for a pinkish-red color... but I digress... anyway, one of the 3 people working there finally stands up and says "who's next?" and these 2 people who CAME IN AFTER US... stand up and start saying what they want... so we look at each other and kinda go.. this is ridiculous.... this is Blakely after all... and we call it a wash, put our paint back up and go home without pedicures... which if you've noticed my inability to reach my own toes here lately isn't the best of news for me!

But, really, an HOUR and a HALF in Blakely??? What is this town coming to??

Tidbits on Tuesday

So I missed the Not Me! Monday boat... so here's my hodgepodge of thoughts for the past few days...

Saturday as you know was Peanut Proud.... it also lended itself to be another day with another story of Grandma... now I'm sure that you are thinking that I pick on her a lot... but really, these are the stories that make her who she is in our family, and I'm just preserving those moments in full glory.. so, anyway, Saturday was Peanut Proud and Mom made Zilla a costume to be in the "Cutest Little Goober" contest as part of the festivities... Mom had to be at the square pretty much all day and I was bringing Hayley down from the lake just in time for the contest and Jo's show...so we were going to have to meet up and get Hayley changed... well, Grandma woke up with "the headache" so she wasn't sure if she was going up to the Square so Mom decided to leave Hayley's outfit in the house with Grandma since its literally 1 block from the Square so we could just change her there.... so I got to Grandma's and my cousin Courtney is standing in the driveway and says "She told me not to park in the driveway because she wanted to be able to get back in... she says she's going to the Square and she knows backroads to get her there" ... no lie people, I can see the square from her driveway...its literally RIGHT... THERE... now it does have a bit of an incline coming up from her house, but its got sidewalks and its RIGHT THERE, you don't even need to squint or use binoculars to see it. We proceed to park in the driveway anyway (we listen so well) and when I try the door..its locked... the door to the house that has the costume in it and its now just 5 minutes until 1... so I call Mom.... and she's like "Good Grief! Where did she go?" to which I had to tell her the square via backroads... and so instead of us, just walking in all cool and collected and getting her dressed and to the square...we ended up with 6 adults at Grandma's house to spend a total of 2 minutes changing the child's clothes. I mean... really... this is just the way we roll.

And no, I don't know what backroads would have gotten her closer to the square and I didn't ask her because I don't think I could have done it with a straight face... seriously, its RIGHT THERE!!!

I LOVE HIM

Today's title comes from actual words proclaimed during the valentine's weekend.... no strange observation, until you hear the context... I am paraphrasing some parts because its been 2 days and I can't remember the details.. but the intention is all true I'm afraid.

Cousin Jan: There are these people down the road who have the cutest miniature donkey... I've nicknamed him Eeyore... I want to steal him.
Us: A mini-donkey.. wait... did you say steal him?
CJ: Yes, but I can't get anyone to help me!
Us: Where are you going to put him?
CJ: In the backyard! He's just so cute! I want to steal him.
Us: But won't they notice that its their donkey?
CJ: I don't care.. I say we steal him.
Us: really? I mean..its a mini-donkey
CJ: BUT I LOVE HIM! (and if you've seen the Will & Grace episode where Jack is saying "But I love him..." and someone else says (I can't remember who) "But you don't know him...." it was kinda like that..except louder.)

cue hysterical laughter... she is oh-so-very serious.. and she also qualifies as a Senior Citizen and is a member of an auto club, which has parties, and writes letters in German accents.

And I say all of that in all seriousness.

when is it ok?

for your standard reply to any question or direction to run screaming from the building...

because that is what I am seriously considering doing for the rest of the week.

My highly esteemed executive decision maker recommends the following: (and please ignore poor picture quality)

yes, folks, "Hide Under Desk"

I think I'll try that tomorrow

Not Me! Monday

 

OK, so we all know I have my blogging network of addictions... which includes Mckmama whose blog details her adorable Micky D nicknamed children. She also spends at least one of her Monday posts telling her NOT ME! stories... so in the spirit of my addiction, I'm doing my first Not Me! Monday!
 
I did NOT spend the better part of both Saturday and Sunday in my pajamas in the same spot on the couch. NOT ME! You can't prove it!
 
I also did NOT let my daughter have 2 consecutive days of wearing her pajamas all day. And I definitely DID NOT allow her to wear her white dressy bloomers over the top of her pajama pants for more than half of Saturday. NOT ME!
 
I also did NOT allow the extent of my laziness to make me put on real clothes and do a super fast house cleanup on Sunday night when I only had 20 minutes before some friends dropped in. NOT ME!
 
I also was NOT sore in my thighs and calves from wearing heels for 2 hours to a wedding. NOT ME! I'm not that out of shape!
 
I also did NOT have potato chips for lunch yesterday. Never would I do such!
 
I also did NOT teach my daughter to tell her daddy "Shhh... hush that fuss!" (even though it doesn't come out that clear when she does it) when he's trying to sing. That would be cruel...it wasNOT me!
 
Taking that all into accounts, I did NOT get up at the time I am normally leaving the house to get to work. NOT ME, no way, no how.
 
It is only Monday after all!

**addition**
I did NOT get home first from work to discover my keys locked inside the house. At which time I did NOT get the spare key to the front door and trapse around. I did NOT forget that there was a towel tucked against the door to keep out a draft and I did NOT almost break my shoulder and engagement ring trying to muscle my way in. I did NOT shimmy through a spot that barely allowed for the baby bump only to find I had sat my basket to where the backdoor would NOT open without knocking it over. I did NOT find myself on my hands and knees with one arm snaking around the door to move the basket to open the back door. NOT Me! NOT Me! NOT Me!

It was just one of those days

Yesterday was just one of those days... you know, the kind that push into overly aggressive conversations that really are more like ranting tyraids than sensible two-way dialogue... yes, it was one of those days.

I actually felt a little like Candace and the freedom of speaking exactly as sarcastically and abrasively as we all would like to do far more often than we actually do.

Here's the DL on my day, which when you hear me recant in my real voice, as my mother did, results in a very funny dancing chick (yes, like a baby chicken) singing "I'm gonna kick somebody's ***" being passed along despite its relatively inappropriate nature most every other day of my life. Its hilarious, no really, I should share it with you if you never heard it.

Anyway, so we've got this new department opening here at work so we had to run an advertisment in the local paper for the new positions... which basically translates into HR nightmare because the phone rings off the hook for the next 3 days and drop-in office visits quadruple in occurence...couple that with the fact that the ad hit the main paper on the same day as I process payroll for 175 employees in less than 8 hours thank you very much.

Actually, I started avoiding the phone calls at 10 a.m. and instead modified my voicemail to accomodate the 10 most common question since the ad... likewise on the notice on my door... but I'm being a fair HR person despite the overload of applicants (many of whom I fear do not meet minimum qualifications) and returning all callers who leave a voicemail after my speill... therefore, if you call me at work and I don't answer, you should do one of two things. First, leave a voicemail. Second, call back. I have caller ID and if I can see a pattern I answer by at least the 4th time.

I would love to share some of the finer points of conversations I've had thus far in the application process but that would violate their applicant rights and that's not very fair.

Lets just suffice it to say that we do not fill a position the same day that the ad hits the newspaper... because, you know, that would defeat the purpose of advertising that day.

4 days

Christmas is in FOUR days.

Seriously... where has this month gone???

people are crazy

and in other cyber stalking news... I read an article yesterday about a family that is receiving 1.5 million dollars in settlements because their teenage son was struck in the head while pitching in a baseball game and the batter used a Louisville Slugger aluminum bat... the family states that the bats don't have adequate warnings of their potential to inflict harm and pain and that they speed the baseballs up on contact which makes the bat responsible for any harm inflicted on a player.


yes. we now live in a country where when you choose to be a baseball player and you get hit with a baseball from a baseball bat during a baseball game you can be paid. because its evidently not common sense that baseball bats speed up balls and players can get hurt from playing sports.


no really... this is crazy.


(although, my sincerest feelings go to this family for the loss of their son and for the other families who are also in court battles from sports injuries, I fail to see how the manufactor of a sports equipment product is wholly liable for those injuries)

addicted

so we've already established that I have much too much addiction to online reading, surfing and general newsy news and blogs...

as such I've decided, Fairfield Inn irritates me... random thought I know, but I've been following USA Today the past couple of weeks for the blips of news stories that I can research in local papers, etc if its really interesting.. they also have great Day In Picture albums, etc... however, Fairfield Inn has the corner market on the 15 second promo ad that runs before you can browse any photo albums or video screens.. which means I've seen the exact same ad for this detested place that I've decided I would rather sleep in a car than stay in because of its irritativeness 500 billion times in the last two weeks... and it irks me... silly I know, but it does.


Also, we know that I am huge fan of Christmas music and over the years have gained great joy in exposing others to relentless Christmas music stations on radio and tv... however, I was flipping radio channels this week and one local station has already gone all Christmas... they are now your "Christmas Music Station" and yes, hello, its not even Thanksgiving.... I have an even bigger beef with those who decorate for Christmas before Halloween.. unacceptable, I now no longer enjoy looking at your decorations because they have been too hastily applied prior to my day of turkey, ham and dumplings thankyouverymuch. Is it really too hard to wait at least until mid-November even though I'd prefer that the whole world, because I have those powers obviously to influence it, do what we do at our house... spend the day after Thanksgiving decorating...it still gives you a solid month of Christmas goodness and you don't have to skimp on other Fall holidays...is that too much to ask??

things that don't go well

Things that don't go well with the onset of morning sickness that lasts all day

a. a 20 minute commute to work

b. someone cooking something in the microwave that is now wafting through the hallways of work

c. cornering a 14-month old into getting dressed for daycare

d. the look and thought of approximately 30 different types of food

e. putting on shoes

f. loudness

g. whole wheat ritz.. forget the healthy turn, give me the original

h. leftovers.

i. the alphabet because I've typed 2 numbers and 2 wrong letters since I started this list

j. pants that are borderline too small.. pressure on the tummy is no good

k. having to go to work despite the walking zombie you are because you're the only person who does your job

l. getting up before noon. period.

m. fixing your own food.. bleh

Things that go well with morning sickness that lasts all day

n. looks of sympathy

o. a husband who doesn't gripe over my weakness

p. my bloggers who've updated and kept my mind occupied

q. my life is average.com

r. having Mom be the hero and get the baby ready and off to daycare in the morning with less than 2 minute notification of needing her

s. a sofa that allows you to stretch out completely flat, or curl up tight, and still stare at the tv

t. now I'm out of happy thoughts.. oh wait, here we go again...

u. knowing that this too will pass

v. finding out that people really are nice to you on the second pregnancy despite stories that the first one uses up all of everyone's sympathy

w. now I'm back to negative thoughts, I really never intended to play alphabet soup here

x. the grocery store

y. coming up with a list for the grocery store

z. trying to find something that you can eat that doesn't make you wanna hurl when you think about it


and yes, I'm counting the two asides as their own letter.. back up off me.

If I have one more person make something way more complicated than it should, then I'm convinced the world is out to get me.

or at least... the part of me that likes things simple.

akward

Ran into a high school classmate of mine at a restaurant last night... first off, didn't even recognize him.. at all.. none whatsoever... and he was sitting at the table next to me... anyway, I come in from outside and he calls me by name, which of course is equally awful when you don't recognize him at  first because you have that stunned look and then the recognition look which of course, in my very expressive face are on entirely different phases of the spectrum... anywho

so I turn around and do all the "how are ya? where ya been? what do you do? tadididida" and he introduces me to his fiance and I say "hey, I'm Meghan, we went to school together..." and about 2 minutes later when I've returned to one of the best fried chicken salads I've ever eaten... I realize that he probably already told her how we knew each other and that the better way of explaining our connection, which didn't even pop into my mind at the time was... "oh, and his grandpa married my grandma for a long time but we never were really "cousin, cousins" but probably should have been, but did at least acknowledged it all along" ...... akward.....

so then after I'm realizing what an idiot I am at impromptu meetings, we get to leave, and he has the dignity to ask about my grandma and some of my cousins... and I feel like a complete waste of meaningful connections, because that confirmed to me that he explained me as the grandma-grandpa connection not the school one.

great.

lack of thought creates thought

so after I fumed all day at not having a blogging episode of great in the last few days, I have been rattling all sorts of things off in this head of mine ever since...

you know what I despise? the little puddles of water that hide in the tiniest of a ridge or lip or whatnot on the dishes in the dishwasher.. there you are, being the good little housecleaner when out of now where.. cold wet water splatters off the top of a mug that up until this very moment you were convinced was flat-bottomed... so maybe despised isn't the right word... it think its somewhere more between "you've got to be kidding me" and "no really, is that necessary?" yes.. that is where it fits.

you know what I do enjoy about a good kitchen? And trust me, mine isn't state of the art so almost any kitchen can qualify... the light over the stove.. exhaust fan, so so, light = kitchen love... and tonight, mine blew in my face and of course, we have no replacement bulbs, so I'm in disagreement with my light at this moment and cooking in the dark is no fun...

you know what else is on  my list of non-favorite kitchen experiences? the dish with the varying boiling point..that's right.. the one where its a boiling mass of molten lava or it won't even break a simmer.. or better yet.. it goes from no simmer to massive boil over of molten smelly lava on the burner... it does it on purpose.. if you think i'm kidding, throw some cream of chicken soup in with some water and see what happens...

along this same line of experience in spaghetti sauce, which is probably the inspiration behind this entire rambling and is cooking on my stove as I type this... you've got to get a good boil to get your paste into a thickening agent but not so hard that it never (cue rotini boiling over on the stove) recovers and thickens... and then you have watery, runny sauce which is no fun and beats all odds since you didn't even add a whole 1/2 cup of water to begin with.... here we are back to the YGTBKM/NRW frameset... and a whole 5 bonus points to whoever figures out what those initials stand for without scrolling to the top paragraph.. first to claim takes all...


in other news.... I also think ad valorum taxes are a pain in my budget... and I mean that with all sincerity.

Office Bathrooms

So the worst part of any place is a public bathroom... at work, I have managed to avoid these by using an employee only bathroom... which is certainly a step up in the world... however, an office bathroom also presents a few downsides, two of which I've experienced in the last few weeks, which is disturbing enough because prior to these experiences the past year of office bathrooms hasn't presented any problems...

I think that the worst part of sharing an employee bathroom with only a few other employees is that when something unpleasant happens.. you know know that its someone you know... so now you can't really look at any of those people without the public bathroom shiver spiralling through you... and you just want to wash your hands everytime you get any paperwork or touch their office supplies....

so maybe select office bathrooms aren't as reassuring as I first thought...

and while we're talking potty mouth, Michael made this joke yesterday...

DISCLAIMER: If you are my mother, or are telling this to my mother, you must warn her of the impending use of the "C" word

setting: browsing the baby section at target, Michael, Hayley, Courtney and Me and arrive on the potty chair/diaper genie/general bath supplies aisle...

Me to Michael: Did find her (hayley) a potty chair?
Me to Courtney: That's what she's getting for Christmas
Michael: No, but its going to be a crappy gift