Last night, Michael said this to me:
Why does everything look all gansta on you instead of redneck???
no lie.
we were trying to figure out a costume for me for work. More acurately, he was trying to figure out a costume for me that didn't involve me wearing his high school football jersey. Because Coach HWP said "no woman is supposed to wear your jersey..." and a had a whole speech about it.
But let's not even go into that because I'm wearing the jersey so HA!
Friday, October 29
Thursday, October 28
ahhhhhh the suspense
So the fact that I have now found the MOST fun costume for next year on Ebay brings the dilema of... the item doesn't close for FOUR. MORE.DAYS!!! And that makes me way to impatient!! And throws a kink in my bidding system as most times, when I ebay (which isn't often) its usually for something of relative immediate need and hencetotherefore best deal which means I usually don't follow items for more than a day...two at the most.
THE. SUSPENSE.
I just can't hack it.
In other news, I have LOVED getting the girls dressed in their halloween outfits this week. A different shirt every day. But as all mommies of second children do, I have NOT taken a daily picture of the girls in said outfits. The SHAME. I know. Maybe they'll still love me when they're older and photographically challenged themselves. One of the ladies asked me Sunday if we did "Halloween" because I guess some preacher's families don't and one of the other ladies had bought these cute little foam board card kits with a spooky house and ghosts and pumpkins and full moon stickers for Hayley to do in the nursery. I hadn't really thought about not doing Halloween...but we don't really focus on the scary, spooky, haunted side of it... more of the pumpkins and hayrides and fun costumes... but I think its all a matter of personal (and family) choice and that its a holiday that when handled in moderation (just like everything else) is just something fun for the girlies to enjoy...and let's face it, for us to enjoy getting them all dressed up and talking about how cute they are. I mean, its not like you can shield them from Halloween for the rest of their lives...might as well handle it from the get go, right???
THE. SUSPENSE.
I just can't hack it.
In other news, I have LOVED getting the girls dressed in their halloween outfits this week. A different shirt every day. But as all mommies of second children do, I have NOT taken a daily picture of the girls in said outfits. The SHAME. I know. Maybe they'll still love me when they're older and photographically challenged themselves. One of the ladies asked me Sunday if we did "Halloween" because I guess some preacher's families don't and one of the other ladies had bought these cute little foam board card kits with a spooky house and ghosts and pumpkins and full moon stickers for Hayley to do in the nursery. I hadn't really thought about not doing Halloween...but we don't really focus on the scary, spooky, haunted side of it... more of the pumpkins and hayrides and fun costumes... but I think its all a matter of personal (and family) choice and that its a holiday that when handled in moderation (just like everything else) is just something fun for the girlies to enjoy...and let's face it, for us to enjoy getting them all dressed up and talking about how cute they are. I mean, its not like you can shield them from Halloween for the rest of their lives...might as well handle it from the get go, right???
Wednesday, October 27
blogger trend
Piggy backing off my last post... I've noticed a lot of bloggers I follow throw out the "I will shank you" when frustrated... should that raise a red flag that shanking is on the up and up for angry thought processes?
no.way.
I just found Bowen's Halloween costume for next year on ebay...if I don't get outbid.
And I'm not telling you because I don't want you to outbid me.
Then I'd have to shank you.
Not really, but I'd have to pull my angry eyes.
But seriously.
She is going to be soooo cute.....next year.
She's already set for this year with some cuteness, so don't worry that she'll be less cute this year
PS - No. Way. I can't beleive I didn't know this costume was out there!!!
And I'm not telling you because I don't want you to outbid me.
Then I'd have to shank you.
Not really, but I'd have to pull my angry eyes.
But seriously.
She is going to be soooo cute.....next year.
She's already set for this year with some cuteness, so don't worry that she'll be less cute this year
PS - No. Way. I can't beleive I didn't know this costume was out there!!!
call me jaded
Dear Sunkist,
You have had my soda devotion for a long, long, long time. I have packed cases of you to go on trips when I was in high school and you have always been a staple fixture in my fridge. However, you are no longer available in the vending machines at work. I considered this a minor set back, until this week, when I bought a case of you at the grocery store and every.can.I've.opened.has.been.flat.
I have already sent you a "feedback" on your site, but wanted to throw this letter in for good measure.
If you keep up this behavior I will have to switch my loyalties for good. Dr. Pepper has started calling my name.
You have had my soda devotion for a long, long, long time. I have packed cases of you to go on trips when I was in high school and you have always been a staple fixture in my fridge. However, you are no longer available in the vending machines at work. I considered this a minor set back, until this week, when I bought a case of you at the grocery store and every.can.I've.opened.has.been.flat.
I have already sent you a "feedback" on your site, but wanted to throw this letter in for good measure.
If you keep up this behavior I will have to switch my loyalties for good. Dr. Pepper has started calling my name.
Tuesday, October 26
Monday, October 25
In the Bird House...
Saturday morning Michael came out in his "fishing attire"... to call it attire might be a stretch, maybe it was more of an ensemble... and ensemble composed of:
1 pair of broken/worn out crocs held together by zip ties
1 Crappie USA ballcap
1 pair of Faded, Slightly Small, A little too short in the legs pair of Overalls
A smirk that meant he knew that his "outfit" was testing the limits of even acceptable fishing wear
To which I replied : "If you aren't a bird..."
To which Hayley added, without prompt, and with comedic timing beyond her years: You a bird daddy. Say Tweet tweet!
BAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAA
1 pair of broken/worn out crocs held together by zip ties
1 Crappie USA ballcap
1 pair of Faded, Slightly Small, A little too short in the legs pair of Overalls
A smirk that meant he knew that his "outfit" was testing the limits of even acceptable fishing wear
To which I replied : "If you aren't a bird..."
To which Hayley added, without prompt, and with comedic timing beyond her years: You a bird daddy. Say Tweet tweet!
BAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAA
Thursday, October 21
one last thing
Last night as Hayley was "typing" I observed the following:
1. she knows the letters that start her name, my name and Bowen's name.
2. She has picked up on the speed and way in which my hands move when typing, she proved this by putting both her hands on the keyboard and wiggling them really fast so it made the same noise as when I type. Unfortunately, she didn't have her fingers extended all the way and missed the part about applying enough pressure to see letters appear.
I mean really? And we think they don't see and hear everything around them?!
1. she knows the letters that start her name, my name and Bowen's name.
2. She has picked up on the speed and way in which my hands move when typing, she proved this by putting both her hands on the keyboard and wiggling them really fast so it made the same noise as when I type. Unfortunately, she didn't have her fingers extended all the way and missed the part about applying enough pressure to see letters appear.
I mean really? And we think they don't see and hear everything around them?!
things you may or may not know, part two
If I had it my way, the only dirty items that would ever be in the right side of our sink would be Bowen's bottles...obviously, I don't always get to have it my way - we're not Burger King.
This morning I put an outfit on Bowen that Hayley was wearing when she was 1. No lies, I have the picture to prove it.
I think that having to have a new towel every time you take a shower is entirely unneccessary. You are clean when you get out!!
I can not cut a straight line, or draw one, or write on one. Don't ever test me to think you can prove me wrong, because your project will be ruined.
I take a bazillion pictures.
With the exception of the first month of Bowen's life, I haven't printed pictures since Hayley's birthday... in 2009.
I have only been a bridesmaid once...well, actually, I was a matron of honor, so technically I've never been a bridesmaid.
I was a rice girl once and my dress had a placemat for a collar...don't make me go find the picture to prove it. And no I don't care how "darling" we looked, they were placemats and Mischa got to wear a flower-girl sized replica of the bride's dress in the same wedding. And yes I'm 25 and still have some pent-up aggression in this matter.
I'd love to do photography for a job.
I'm a pastor's wife..weirdness. Somehow, I'm not what I pictured a pastor's wife to be.
I have been eating Chips Ahoy (original, blue bag, leave well enough alone will you!) for breakfast for as long as I remember.
and back to work I go.
This morning I put an outfit on Bowen that Hayley was wearing when she was 1. No lies, I have the picture to prove it.
I think that having to have a new towel every time you take a shower is entirely unneccessary. You are clean when you get out!!
I can not cut a straight line, or draw one, or write on one. Don't ever test me to think you can prove me wrong, because your project will be ruined.
I take a bazillion pictures.
With the exception of the first month of Bowen's life, I haven't printed pictures since Hayley's birthday... in 2009.
I have only been a bridesmaid once...well, actually, I was a matron of honor, so technically I've never been a bridesmaid.
I was a rice girl once and my dress had a placemat for a collar...don't make me go find the picture to prove it. And no I don't care how "darling" we looked, they were placemats and Mischa got to wear a flower-girl sized replica of the bride's dress in the same wedding. And yes I'm 25 and still have some pent-up aggression in this matter.
I'd love to do photography for a job.
I'm a pastor's wife..weirdness. Somehow, I'm not what I pictured a pastor's wife to be.
I have been eating Chips Ahoy (original, blue bag, leave well enough alone will you!) for breakfast for as long as I remember.
and back to work I go.
Wednesday, October 20
from hayley
..............3.33333333333333333333333333333699**6*
*
b /.on wxv c ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn n,..,,
(that's supposed to be Bowen's name, technically all the letters are there)
*
b /.on wxv c ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn n,..,,
(that's supposed to be Bowen's name, technically all the letters are there)
things that you may or may not know
I love placemats. I never use them, but I love them. I have, at least, 5 sets.
I love napkin rings. I've used one set of mine once. The first Christmas I was married, when we didn't actually eat at the kitchen table so it was decorated.
I have never eaten off my fine china from my wedding. I have used the serving bowl once. All the other pieces still have their stickers on them and haven't been used.
I have the same set of flatware as my sister.
I have the same flatware, dishwasher, fine china, crib set as one of our friends, even though we did none of those things at the same time. We should have just moved in together.
I love to have a wreath on my front door. I only have two at my house....a spring/summer one and a fall one. You can enjoy both for at least 4 months at a time.
Hayley (wants to see her name, she's in my lap, now she's going to mash it by herself)
hayleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm am
(to be continued...)
I love napkin rings. I've used one set of mine once. The first Christmas I was married, when we didn't actually eat at the kitchen table so it was decorated.
I have never eaten off my fine china from my wedding. I have used the serving bowl once. All the other pieces still have their stickers on them and haven't been used.
I have the same set of flatware as my sister.
I have the same flatware, dishwasher, fine china, crib set as one of our friends, even though we did none of those things at the same time. We should have just moved in together.
I love to have a wreath on my front door. I only have two at my house....a spring/summer one and a fall one. You can enjoy both for at least 4 months at a time.
Hayley (wants to see her name, she's in my lap, now she's going to mash it by herself)
hayleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm am
(to be continued...)
as a followup
I never, would not ever, had opened aforementioned container of Chips Ahoy, dusted the dirt off the sticky closure and ate cookies on the way to work this morning.
Nope, nu uh, can't prove it.
Nope, nu uh, can't prove it.
Tuesday, October 19
only in South GA
would you pass a road sign that has a tractor shadow on it with "share the road" underneath it.
I would never....
When taking my husband's truck to a business meeting 2 hours away, I would never::
- Find $8 in cash in the floorboard when I go to get out
- Spend part of money on Taco Bell
- Consider not telling said Husband that money was found
- Almost miss a turn, hit the brakes hard and dump a container of Chips Ahoy in the floorboard
- Leave Chips Ahoy upside down in floorboard for 30 minutes until I stop
- Consider calling the crumbs "dirt" and pretend like it never happened
- Run over those little white dome things when I missed a second turn and made a sudden u-turn
- Done such a turn as the above on a set of tires that was just balanced yesterday
- Eat Taco Bell while driving through 6 stoplights, a left turn and a right turn
- Knock open sauce packet on steering wheel while attempting to eat said tacos
- Consider "spit cleaning" said steering wheel to hide all the evidence
- Instead wipe clean and dispose of all Taco trash at gas station
- Forget to throw away the cup and get busted when I get home.
Saturday, October 16
Rinse, Lather, Repeat
In August Michael and I helped lead a youth group through a DNow weekend. The focus of the weekend was “Sequence” and the lessons focused around the four steps of discipleship. Identify Christ. Deny Self. Take Up Your Cross. Follow Him.
As the words were coming from my mouth, I had my own divine encounter with Truth. Isn’t that the way it often works? We go into things thinking we’ll be the blessing, but in return we are also blessed. But I digress.
The truth of all sequences is that they are an ongoing,
living, breathing, conscious stream of thought and action that takes deliberate process to complete. And in most of the teachings that we share as Christians, there isn’t much talk of sequence past the steps it takes to become a believer. More often times than not believers paint the picture that believing in God and claiming Jesus as Savior is the end all of the Christian process—everything past that is just faith.
But how untrue this is! Believing in God as Almighty and embracing Jesus as personal Savior is just the
beginning...its the start to the rest of your life. It’s the first choice in a lifetime of choices to live faith, believe truth and express that commitment through word and deed together.
The Bible teaches us that there will be joy and sorrow, trial, tribulations, blessings, mercy and grace to sustain us. That is our sequence. Greater still than the sequence is the urgency for believers to make the sequence after acceptance of salvation made known to new, and I’d even wager, established believers. The Bible calls us to discipleship...which is more than just believing that God is who He is, but living a life that expresses that God is who He is, always.
It is time for believers to step into the sequence. Identify Christ. Know Him, learn Him, love Him, obey Him. Deny yourself. Get your head and your heart and your emotions and your fears out of the way. Push away the social comforts that restrain you from whole-hearted faith-based living. Give up on things being your way, ever. Take Up Your Cross. Don’t step into the batter’s box empty handed, be prepared to carry the load which God has for you, be it heavy at times and light at others. Follow Him. Don’t just read about Him, don’t just talk about Him, don’t pretend to live for Him, step out, one foot in front of the other for the rest of your life.
Its so much bigger and so much better than cutting out early.
As the words were coming from my mouth, I had my own divine encounter with Truth. Isn’t that the way it often works? We go into things thinking we’ll be the blessing, but in return we are also blessed. But I digress.
The truth of all sequences is that they are an ongoing,
living, breathing, conscious stream of thought and action that takes deliberate process to complete. And in most of the teachings that we share as Christians, there isn’t much talk of sequence past the steps it takes to become a believer. More often times than not believers paint the picture that believing in God and claiming Jesus as Savior is the end all of the Christian process—everything past that is just faith.
But how untrue this is! Believing in God as Almighty and embracing Jesus as personal Savior is just the
beginning...its the start to the rest of your life. It’s the first choice in a lifetime of choices to live faith, believe truth and express that commitment through word and deed together.
The Bible teaches us that there will be joy and sorrow, trial, tribulations, blessings, mercy and grace to sustain us. That is our sequence. Greater still than the sequence is the urgency for believers to make the sequence after acceptance of salvation made known to new, and I’d even wager, established believers. The Bible calls us to discipleship...which is more than just believing that God is who He is, but living a life that expresses that God is who He is, always.
It is time for believers to step into the sequence. Identify Christ. Know Him, learn Him, love Him, obey Him. Deny yourself. Get your head and your heart and your emotions and your fears out of the way. Push away the social comforts that restrain you from whole-hearted faith-based living. Give up on things being your way, ever. Take Up Your Cross. Don’t step into the batter’s box empty handed, be prepared to carry the load which God has for you, be it heavy at times and light at others. Follow Him. Don’t just read about Him, don’t just talk about Him, don’t pretend to live for Him, step out, one foot in front of the other for the rest of your life.
Its so much bigger and so much better than cutting out early.
Thursday, October 14
different pjs, same monster
this time it involved a chocolate pop tart for breakfast.
and yes, she wore the monster feet to daycare this day.
not the jammies, which glow in the dark by the way,
but the monster feet with her regular clothes.
because we're good parents like that. : ) ha!
new favorite game
my new favorite game is Where's Waldo Bowen???
I love looking in the background of pictures of Hayley around the house and spotting what Bowen is doing... you can find her in 2 of the pictures I posted today of Hayley...
too funny.
Poor second child, as her Aunt Mischa would say, she's in the background and not the center of the photo!
I love looking in the background of pictures of Hayley around the house and spotting what Bowen is doing... you can find her in 2 of the pictures I posted today of Hayley...
too funny.
Poor second child, as her Aunt Mischa would say, she's in the background and not the center of the photo!
Punkin in a Stroller
yes that is a massive bow in her hair, her Breezy is starting to wear off on me.
Tuesday, October 12
more milestones
Bowen's first tooth broke through the gum yesterday! No wonder she's been such a drool box!
Hayley is willingly and volunteeringly putting her face under the water in the bathtub. She claims she's "hiding" under the water. She can call it whatever she wants, I'm so glad she knows and can hold her breath and submerge her head. Next summer's swimming is going to be sooo much fun!
Hayley is willingly and volunteeringly putting her face under the water in the bathtub. She claims she's "hiding" under the water. She can call it whatever she wants, I'm so glad she knows and can hold her breath and submerge her head. Next summer's swimming is going to be sooo much fun!
Monday, October 11
A Week of Milestones
We had a pretty eventful week at our house (read that to say: my house is a disaster area and there are laundry piles higher than my 2-year old) but anywho...
Friday night Hayley went to the potty outside...for those of you who aren't Southerners that may disturb you, but to survive down here you gotta be able to squat when there's no bathroom around. Granted, I had to hold her and almost break my knees and arms trying to keep her in a close to normal potty position while not getting pottied on... either way, it was a good time.
This week Bowen really got her rolling over down...she can now go from her back to her belly to her back to her belly...but she can only roll over her left shoulder, she can't go to the right any. haha. We got really tickled at her Friday night because she rolled about 4 times and got stuck on the bottom of the sofa, but kept trying to roll over and ended up with her tail end and legs under the couch before it was all over. She also is really trying to "talk" to us and has gotten this big grin where she sticks her tongue out at you...its super super cute.
Hayley also got brave enough to do the big slide at Kolomoki "by my self mommie" . It was a steady progression over the weekend since we made 3 trips to Kolomoki.
Big Dave & Breezy got a swingset at their house this weekend so Hayley was super excited about that...she even helped Big Dave put one of the swings on...when she wasn't being "superman" and flying out of the other ones.
I haven't been able to get her to wear her big girl panties again even though I know she can go all day without an accident. I'm letting her decide it on her time though, she's not even 2 1/2 yet, we've still got time.
My favorite hayley-isms right now is when she requests me to sing a song:
What do you want me to sing?
Hayley: running it altogether very fast: twinkstarhowIwonderwhatyouare
or
rockbyebabytreetopwindblowscradledon'tfalldown
or
Jesuslovemelittleoneswhostop (I think that last part is supposed to be the "he is strong" but I'm not altogether sure)
Friday night Hayley went to the potty outside...for those of you who aren't Southerners that may disturb you, but to survive down here you gotta be able to squat when there's no bathroom around. Granted, I had to hold her and almost break my knees and arms trying to keep her in a close to normal potty position while not getting pottied on... either way, it was a good time.
This week Bowen really got her rolling over down...she can now go from her back to her belly to her back to her belly...but she can only roll over her left shoulder, she can't go to the right any. haha. We got really tickled at her Friday night because she rolled about 4 times and got stuck on the bottom of the sofa, but kept trying to roll over and ended up with her tail end and legs under the couch before it was all over. She also is really trying to "talk" to us and has gotten this big grin where she sticks her tongue out at you...its super super cute.
Hayley also got brave enough to do the big slide at Kolomoki "by my self mommie" . It was a steady progression over the weekend since we made 3 trips to Kolomoki.
Big Dave & Breezy got a swingset at their house this weekend so Hayley was super excited about that...she even helped Big Dave put one of the swings on...when she wasn't being "superman" and flying out of the other ones.
I haven't been able to get her to wear her big girl panties again even though I know she can go all day without an accident. I'm letting her decide it on her time though, she's not even 2 1/2 yet, we've still got time.
My favorite hayley-isms right now is when she requests me to sing a song:
What do you want me to sing?
Hayley: running it altogether very fast: twinkstarhowIwonderwhatyouare
or
rockbyebabytreetopwindblowscradledon'tfalldown
or
Jesuslovemelittleoneswhostop (I think that last part is supposed to be the "he is strong" but I'm not altogether sure)
Friday, October 8
something to listen to
In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
In a daydream, I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
-Song by: NEEDTOBREATHE
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
In a daydream, I couldn't live like this
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need
Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful
-Song by: NEEDTOBREATHE
Thursday, October 7
followup
So I don't feel like I should dump such a heavy post as my previous one without some followup.
However, all my tie together thoughts have been waylayed since I got home with my girls....that's usually the way things work.
I do want to say that I didn't post my last post because I wanted sympathy or someone to be "on my side" or to say that I've now got it all together. Because I don't.
But the whole purpose of Amy's linky link is for people to be real and broken and honest and show God's handiwork even when they aren't sure how they'll get out of where they are. And that is the place where God led me into the desert then called me by name so that I would know that HE is Almighty (see the book of Hosea).
And I wish I could have had someone who'd walked through church upheaval walk my journey with me... or that I would have read the stories of others who had been through similar circumstances. So I felt it only fair to throw my story out there as well...just in case someone else is in church despair.
I just hope they know, like I know now, that only God has the answers for something that big...and to Him be all the GLORY!
However, all my tie together thoughts have been waylayed since I got home with my girls....that's usually the way things work.
I do want to say that I didn't post my last post because I wanted sympathy or someone to be "on my side" or to say that I've now got it all together. Because I don't.
But the whole purpose of Amy's linky link is for people to be real and broken and honest and show God's handiwork even when they aren't sure how they'll get out of where they are. And that is the place where God led me into the desert then called me by name so that I would know that HE is Almighty (see the book of Hosea).
And I wish I could have had someone who'd walked through church upheaval walk my journey with me... or that I would have read the stories of others who had been through similar circumstances. So I felt it only fair to throw my story out there as well...just in case someone else is in church despair.
I just hope they know, like I know now, that only God has the answers for something that big...and to Him be all the GLORY!
Getting Real
I've never visited Amy's Site before today... but two of my other blog reads referenced it and I checked it out... and it brought me here, and I pray that you will follow through this post with me...
Amy's got a Linky going for "getting real"... and y'all have no idea how fast my heart is beating in my chest as I gear up to type this....but here we go into my story of how God has worked in my life when I could see Him the least, or maybe, more accurately, when I thought I couldn't see Him working.
My Time: Church Isolation
A year ago we found ourselves outside of our lifetime church home. It was the church where our entire families (just about) were members and active. We had served in ministry positions there. We had stepped down from ministry towards the end of our first pregancy, just months before Hayley was born. We had since gotten plugged in to a fabulous, life changing, friend making Sunday School class... it started out with some marriage topics, then we moved into a few studies on parenting. Our group multiplied and grew to close to 30 couples. It was the best "small group" learning experience I had been a part of since college. It was fabulous.
Then things at the church went crazy. I won't go into that because some would say things at the church are still crazy. Others in the church may say that things never were crazy, politely, I would disagree with that point, without engaging in the multi-faceted issues that arose at that time.... as you can probably tell, Michael and I have chosen not to get actively involved in the public discussions of church matters, its as much for our own peace of mind and reduction of stress and discouragement in our lives. But it was hard, and it was ugly, and things that were hurtful and uncalled for were said to us, and to others in our extended family. And so we walked away.
But it wasn't that simple... it was a black hole in our lives... how do we process, begin to understand, try to move forward (or do we move at all) from the people who have shaped our very lives, even our spiritual training? These people, this church, has been fundamental in our own growth and in essence our lives and ministry. How does that work? Were the experiences we had before sincere experiences? There were so many questions and so much frustration and confusion and discouragement and disappointment. We had never felt abandonment like we felt it when we stepped out.
We live in a small town. Where were we to go?? For a while we didn't go anywhere, we relied on Michael's fill-in preaching Sundays to keep us in other churches, an easy answer to why we weren't at the church which still held our membership but not our hearts. Then we went a few places out of town, just to try something different. Then we went somewhere in town. We didn't dislike any of the places we went but we didn't feel "at home" either.
Michael came out of our church funk a little earlier than I did...maybe its because he fought harder to get there... and he pursued God more...and reached for forgiveness more...
I just withdrew. Completely. Wholly. It was the darkest place of my spiritual journey, and I won't tell you that I'm completely over it. I checked out on life. I check out on my faith. Lost track of my Bible. Didn't read, didn't pray, didn't think. Just tried to survive each day. It was miserable for me and for Michael and probably for some of you who encountered me. But maybe not, because I tried really hard to still put on the happy face and be the "right kind" of person. But I was lost and confused and not ready to fight. The world had been shaken around me. I didn't even know where to start.
We got pregnant and had Bowen in the midst of this year. It was more heat to an all-consuming fire that had devoured me. Where would we raise our girls? They needed Sunday School and church and a church family to help us raise them into Godliness... we put off dedicating Hayley even further. She's 2 now and we still haven't had her dedication, something that we both think is important (as much for us as for her).
We began discussions of moving our membership. We were certain that we weren't going back to our lifetime home church. But we weren't certain where we would go. We still had our newsletter-based, fill-in Sunday preaching, ministry... maybe we should put our membership and efforts into that? Michael felt it imperative that we get back into a Sunday/Wednesday church...that we needed structure, and to have someone minister to us, listen to sermons, the like. I wasn't sure. I was content at home in my pjs. Michael knew that, and what an awful place I would be in if he let me stay there. We started attending one church a little more... just Sundays 11 a.m. That church wrapped its arms around us during our pregnancy with Bowen and her birth. But it still wasn't home. So we decided that we just needed to make the plunge, put our hearts into it and make it home.
Then Michael got a call to spend 6 weeks at a church. After it was over, a few weeks later he got a different feeling. He felt like he needed to send a resume for a pastor's position...a position that wasn't even officially open to our knowledge. It was over a month before we knew. We were asked to come and serve. Our first "real" church pastor's job.
It was the light at the end of the tunnel. A deep breath of relief. An easy way to separate ourselves from the church we left over a year ago, no explanations of why we left or moved our membership, simple, clean separation.
A new start.
Hallelujah! God is with us!
Amy's got a Linky going for "getting real"... and y'all have no idea how fast my heart is beating in my chest as I gear up to type this....but here we go into my story of how God has worked in my life when I could see Him the least, or maybe, more accurately, when I thought I couldn't see Him working.
My Time: Church Isolation
A year ago we found ourselves outside of our lifetime church home. It was the church where our entire families (just about) were members and active. We had served in ministry positions there. We had stepped down from ministry towards the end of our first pregancy, just months before Hayley was born. We had since gotten plugged in to a fabulous, life changing, friend making Sunday School class... it started out with some marriage topics, then we moved into a few studies on parenting. Our group multiplied and grew to close to 30 couples. It was the best "small group" learning experience I had been a part of since college. It was fabulous.
Then things at the church went crazy. I won't go into that because some would say things at the church are still crazy. Others in the church may say that things never were crazy, politely, I would disagree with that point, without engaging in the multi-faceted issues that arose at that time.... as you can probably tell, Michael and I have chosen not to get actively involved in the public discussions of church matters, its as much for our own peace of mind and reduction of stress and discouragement in our lives. But it was hard, and it was ugly, and things that were hurtful and uncalled for were said to us, and to others in our extended family. And so we walked away.
But it wasn't that simple... it was a black hole in our lives... how do we process, begin to understand, try to move forward (or do we move at all) from the people who have shaped our very lives, even our spiritual training? These people, this church, has been fundamental in our own growth and in essence our lives and ministry. How does that work? Were the experiences we had before sincere experiences? There were so many questions and so much frustration and confusion and discouragement and disappointment. We had never felt abandonment like we felt it when we stepped out.
We live in a small town. Where were we to go?? For a while we didn't go anywhere, we relied on Michael's fill-in preaching Sundays to keep us in other churches, an easy answer to why we weren't at the church which still held our membership but not our hearts. Then we went a few places out of town, just to try something different. Then we went somewhere in town. We didn't dislike any of the places we went but we didn't feel "at home" either.
Michael came out of our church funk a little earlier than I did...maybe its because he fought harder to get there... and he pursued God more...and reached for forgiveness more...
I just withdrew. Completely. Wholly. It was the darkest place of my spiritual journey, and I won't tell you that I'm completely over it. I checked out on life. I check out on my faith. Lost track of my Bible. Didn't read, didn't pray, didn't think. Just tried to survive each day. It was miserable for me and for Michael and probably for some of you who encountered me. But maybe not, because I tried really hard to still put on the happy face and be the "right kind" of person. But I was lost and confused and not ready to fight. The world had been shaken around me. I didn't even know where to start.
We got pregnant and had Bowen in the midst of this year. It was more heat to an all-consuming fire that had devoured me. Where would we raise our girls? They needed Sunday School and church and a church family to help us raise them into Godliness... we put off dedicating Hayley even further. She's 2 now and we still haven't had her dedication, something that we both think is important (as much for us as for her).
We began discussions of moving our membership. We were certain that we weren't going back to our lifetime home church. But we weren't certain where we would go. We still had our newsletter-based, fill-in Sunday preaching, ministry... maybe we should put our membership and efforts into that? Michael felt it imperative that we get back into a Sunday/Wednesday church...that we needed structure, and to have someone minister to us, listen to sermons, the like. I wasn't sure. I was content at home in my pjs. Michael knew that, and what an awful place I would be in if he let me stay there. We started attending one church a little more... just Sundays 11 a.m. That church wrapped its arms around us during our pregnancy with Bowen and her birth. But it still wasn't home. So we decided that we just needed to make the plunge, put our hearts into it and make it home.
Then Michael got a call to spend 6 weeks at a church. After it was over, a few weeks later he got a different feeling. He felt like he needed to send a resume for a pastor's position...a position that wasn't even officially open to our knowledge. It was over a month before we knew. We were asked to come and serve. Our first "real" church pastor's job.
It was the light at the end of the tunnel. A deep breath of relief. An easy way to separate ourselves from the church we left over a year ago, no explanations of why we left or moved our membership, simple, clean separation.
A new start.
Hallelujah! God is with us!
Tuesday, October 5
Vote Joanna!
Ok gang, Jo needs our votes to get her video played on GAC (it makes it debut after lunch today, so tune in if you've got GAC at home). You can vote one time per day per computer. Please send this to as many people as you know and remember to vote daily!!
You will need to scroll down and click on "artist name" tab...then look for Joanna Smith Gettin' Married. Click to add it, then click vote! (I hope these instructions are enough to get you through because I can't seem to remember all the details at this moment).
http://www.gactv.com/gac/pac_ctnt/text/0,,GAC_26058_47219,00.html
You will need to scroll down and click on "artist name" tab...then look for Joanna Smith Gettin' Married. Click to add it, then click vote! (I hope these instructions are enough to get you through because I can't seem to remember all the details at this moment).
http://www.gactv.com/gac/pac_ctnt/text/0,,GAC_26058_47219,00.html
Monday, October 4
Sally Mae
Meet the newest member of Big Dave & Breezy's household...
She's a little camera shy (and a lot bigger since this photo is almost a month old)
Yes, I am publishing a random photo because I've been slacking and not getting new ones of the girls up.
She's a little camera shy (and a lot bigger since this photo is almost a month old)
Yes, I am publishing a random photo because I've been slacking and not getting new ones of the girls up.
Friday, October 1
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